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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Power Hungry and Happy

Last week I said some things that I meant out loud and I got somewhat bashed for it. I think there comes a time in your life when you shouldn't give two shits about what other people think. Do they pay my bills? Are they here when I need help? Do they give a fuck about my happiness? Why are we warped in a culture that feeds the need for approval from others? I'll tell you why...people's parents probably never gave them enough love as children or didn't validate their thoughts and feelings. I've grown to accept who I am. This isn't a self-entitled speech saying it's okay to hurt people or bully anyone but a statement to say that as women and as moms we're bombarded by all kinds of stereotypes and pressures. I can't be bothered by people who don't know me but judge me. I'm blunt, I get it, I'm confrontational I get it, but that doesn't make me a fuckin monster...

I'm just as real as everybody pretends not to be. There's no shame in that. When I met my husband we were 14 years old. I wanted to be accepted by his family so badly. For years I did everything the right way growing up when we met up until I was in college. I followed all the west indian expectations, etc.. Did it help me? Not one bit. Does it even matter now? Hell no...If there was anybody most unhappy during that time in my life when people mattered so much to me it was me. People constantly disappointed me. I was always hurt by things people said because I cared too much. I lost relationships with family members and friends. I learned to stop giving a fuck. When I did that that's when I grew to love myself. Too many times we put others first as women because we watched our mothers do so growing up or because it was the most natural thing to do. I'm a mother now and I still find myself not taking as good of a care of myself as I put my girls first. It sucks. I'm human. I have good days and bad days just like anyone else. If more people admitted to the fact that life sometimes is hard, is a struggle, then the world would be a better empathetic and supportive place. Instead everything is a competition.

Don't be trying to compete with me either, I'm in a league of my own. 
If you are a people pleaser, a pushover, a doormat  a conformist, don't stand up for yourself or others...Ask yourself why? Imitation is suicide. You've heard the expression "You were born an original, don't die a copy". Find yourself, find the things that bring you personal fulfillment. Listen and observe people around you keenly. Question everything you think you know. Create goals for yourself that push you out of your comfort zone. Now I'm not saying be like me and start blowin' expletives all over the place. Be who you are that's all.

I will be honest with you, society doesn't welcome leaders, they breed a herd of sheep followers through the educational system. The way they force people into debt to feed consumer economy is a discussion for another day. Be prepared to stand alone. I personally am not tied to a "job", or people outside of my immediate family. I have no close relationships with extended family members and my circle of close-knit friends is very small. I have no support other than my husband during my day to day with the kids. I am in seek of personal development, growing our business and networking. Self-sufficiency is the key to autonomy. Relying on others will make you weak. If you want to learn more about yourself; check out the book "The 50th Law" by 50 Cent and Robert Greene. 50 is my mentor. I like listening to not just his music but his interviews, and reading about his ideals. His book has really opened my mind to a whole new world. A world of new possibilities followed by teachings from Alan Watts, Kevin Trudeau, Robert Greene, The Secret, and the Hindu religion.


Find your power and take control of your life. We are not defined by circumstances, but by the results of our adversity. Hasta MaƱana...