My husband starts a new job in two weeks...A great job.
The truth: I can't help but feel a little jealous...a teeny tiny bit; that he gets 8 hours a day to devote to what he loves doing and is passionate about completely uninterrupted. Meanwhile I hold the fort down at home and put my drives on the back burner. I'm not a lazy person, I don't waste time hanging out with people, watching tv all day, or doing useless things, then complain that I'm not where I want to be. If you want something you have to hustle, you have to stop wasting precious time with useless people and keep grinding. Take a break yes of course by all means. You have to stay sane too. My breaks are usually on FB bullshitting and amusing myself with fuckin' hilarious memes, and chatting with my really good friends. I don't got time on the weekend to bullshit around either, I run my errands, and spend quality time with my family. Don't waste pointless time going here and there just because either. My mom would say "why don't you take the kids to Downtown Disney, or Citywalk? There's so much to do in FL". I can't be bothered that's why, it's such a production to get outta the house with them, they get out just enough to be sociable. They're gonna grow up and be unappreciative of the times you killed yourself with frustration anyway, what's the point? We do things with them at home and show them love what more do they really need? For my oldest 5th birthday next year we were thinking of doing Disney. How's it special if they're always getting spoiled rotten every weekend? That's why we're in the "Me" generation where everybody feels like their fuckin' owed/entitled to something. [Let me save that rant for another day...] I need a balance, I need to come up with a plan. All the plans I've come up with before failed miserably...I was back to my late nights and pissed off mornings in no time.
I'm praying for a miracle right now, I'm relaxing, I'm being positive, I will overcome this issue. I will overcome it like everything else I've struggled with before. I can and I will come out on top. God is teaching me a lesson right now, I haven't quite figured out the message but I pray that it's all for the best. Took a lot for granted I bet but I'm always going through bouts of worry, questioning life, what will come next, questioning myself, trying to do it all. I have to start using my power wisely maybe it's time to watch "The Secret" again... How do you use the power of your mind to overcome adversity?