I love my jams. I love songs I can dance to, sing along to and feel I can relate to. It kinda makes me reminisce though. Is nostalgia ever truly a bad thing? I miss the way certain people used to make me feel. Even if it was pain, they were still experiences and feelings that rocked my world, a story of feeling alive. They say some people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Each of them to serve a purpose in your journey. There are people you let go and make peace with never seeing again, but then they come back. What do you do? They're not causing any physical, emotional, or mental harm. You're not morally conflicted either, so you let them come back in the form of vague online interactions. What's the reason for coming back? Who even knows?
Whatever the cause, I take it for what it is, and how it makes me feel. Nothing more, nothing less. I like the way I feel. It puts things in perspective. I appreciate the people who've resurfaced because like the song says; "I can't remember to forget you". The past remains the past but those memories will always be fresh. They were mere fleeting emotional rides I went on when they were in my life. Instability, rebellion, rage, and a yearning for love and freedom encompassed my young life, a bunch of mixed emotions I don't know how to put into words. I read this quote today and it totally resonated with me. The quote was:
Love, love, love. It’s the reason we get married and divorced, buy homes we can’t afford, have children we don’t know how to raise. Love is infatuation. Love doesn’t exist. Attraction exists, friendship exists. ~ Dr. Willard Evans
Could this be true? When I think about being with someone I think of the companionship and the intimacy. If that person is giving me all their attention, and I can share things and have that deep connection with them, then my needs are being met. At the end of the day all that still translates to is the need for a good, hot friend and a really good fuck. The quote is true. Love is infatuation, love will make you happy, make you sad, make you crazy, make you do things you never thought you would do, love will change your life, love will destroy you. Choose love anyway because in the end, you would willingly die for the very thing killing you... Just because it makes you feel alive and that's irony. I wouldn't have it any other way. Occasional brushes with danger keep reminding me.