Say the word and it really has no affect on what/how we think or how we feel. It will roll off your tongue without effect. Nobody takes that shit seriously. Until you're dealing with a child throwing a tantrum and you feel steam coming out of your ears while your other child keeps saying Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom! We hear about "stress kills", we hear people say "don't stress"...."Calm down". Been there done that, until the next thing you know you're under pressure trying to get a million things done, things are not going as you planned, and you're fuckin' fuming at this rate. You're grinding your teeth, maybe you're slamming doors, or maybe you're just cursing and you don't give a shit who's around or who's not. How can this be happening? You carefully planned the day and woke up with this great attitude, feeling productive and everything is getting fucked up!
I looked at that woman and for about another 15 minutes, I felt sad for her. Maybe I was making up my own story about her, hell maybe I was just sad because seeing her made me wonder about my own future. To make myself get out the funk I said well maybe she's a smoker, smoking can seriously do that to your face...but so can stress.
Here's the thing about stress; Everything gives you stress! Whether it's being late, being stuck in traffic, getting upset because you stumped your toe, relationships, children, fussing over your hair, deadlines, negative people, negative environments, the weather, etc. Everything is stress. The good news it that it's all about how you cope with stress if you don't cope with the stress it just gets balled up in your body and presents itself as inflammation or it can be reflected with hair loss, weight gain, sleep disturbances, eating habits, choices, heart health...basically disturbing any or every aspect of your body and life. The stress hormone cortisol is released every time you're stressed. If your body is dumping out lots and lots of cortisol and you don't find ways to deal with the stress such as taking steps to reduce stress and promote relaxation/lower cortisol levels then that's when it becomes a big problem and it will show up in your body as disease, maybe not right away but over time.
I read about stress back prehistorically when we were cavemen and the stress was a fight or flight response. Like if you're in danger , you ran and worked that adrenaline off. However, today's day and age is not the same. We're not running away from bears or tigers, our stress is completely mental. It's from outside factors. The pressures of life is what causes stress and that's the kind of stress we're not running off to counteract it's effects right away. We're not coping with our flight or fight response well at all. It just builds up.
This past week was the first week of school, my daughter started Kindergarten. Change takes a toll on me. Things are always changing but I don't handle transitions well. Right now so many other things are on my mind and I feel like I'm circling the drain. The darkness is filling up inside me again. I need a breather, an escape, a fucking distraction right now. It takes time, but I'm not sure how much, it all depends.
You have no choice but to keep on going. There is no giving up. Sometimes we triumph and sometimes we lose. I will tell you next time though, how it is I keep going, and what helps me get past all the things that stress me the fuck out. This post is already too long to include it. Nobody makes it out alive, I was just hoping to be the youthful and radiant old lady when I go.
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For all you Moms! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-simon/to-my-fellow-moms-on-the-first-day-of-kindergarten_b_5693541.html