I'm happy to announce that I feel back to normal again, as I've had the most trying time in the last two months. That's what happens when you're such a Type A personality with never-ending expectations. The holidays are fast approaching, I had some much needed rest and a time out last week! I went with one of my besties to see the Enrique and Pitbull concert, had a date night with my man-candy, and celebrated Halloween with my kids. I even got into the Halloween spirit and dressed the part of Nicki Minaj. I actually had fun with it.
I used to believe that I was weak, and I can't handle life changes. Things are always changing, and I've been handling it the best I can. I thought maybe something is wrong with me, it's always been a negative thing, people around me always saying "Stop being so sensitive... Why do you have to take everything so personally?... Why do you cry so easily?" etc. I actually just took this Highly Sensitive Test and found that I'm just super sensitive. I checked off 24/27 of the items listed and kinda feel relieved. It was like I was damned by a curse all this time. I think going-forward I can acknowledge this and take better care of myself after years of being treated like it was abnormal or wrong.
Being a highly sensitive person, I think that when you spend a lot of time being stressed, worried, tired, and frustrated you lose sight of what happiness really is. We all thrive on routine. The extrovert in me loves spontaneity but I'm much better if I keep that for my impulse driven days. I go back now and read my post last month; Happily Ever After? and think how different I feel right now. I often get conflicted between trying to be the good mother and wife and asking myself; "what does Michelle need right now?". It's easy to lose your enthusiasm, your drive, your ability to sustain a cheerful attitude and demeanor. While I was going through bouts of anger and losing my patience the girls were running around laughing, giggling, and generally having fun. I looked at them and thought, wow, what it must be like to be a child... care-free.
When I'm stuck in a rut for a while, and I finally make the effort to have fun, I feel myself come back. It's always been that way. As a highly sensitive person, I'm in-tuned to what I'm feeling, and what I need to be re-centered and refocused. Most times, it's alone time, time to do my hobbies, a night out to the club, pure stupid senseless fun, a game, laughter, time to upkeep my beauty regimen, and time to unwind, a nap, soaking in the bathtub, or simply quiet time in the grocery store alone, a visit to the library, or time outside in nature. If you go through too much time not doing the things you need to re-balance your spirit you will burn out, and become depressed or have anxiety or simply become the thing you never wanted to be; The Complainer a.k.a.The Insatiable Bitch.
I end up feeling like a kid who was never ready to grow up a lot of times. That maybe this life isn't for me, I'm not ready for it. One friend said maybe I should've waited till I was older to start a family, and I always say NO, I would be feeling the same way ten years from now because it's true. I want my pie and to eat it too. I read this article and it finally dawned on me that I'm right where I'm supposed to be. There are 4 phases of a woman's life, and I encompass all four of them. That is how I'm able to function as a young, mature, but wise and sexual being.. This is a must read for women. Single, married, SAHM, working mom, all alike. Please leave your comments on the article below.
If you're a sensitive person or know one, these articles might be helpful:
Why Being Sensitive Could Be Your Greatest Gift
16 Habits Of Highly Sensitive People
10 Important Reasons to Start Making Time for Silence, Rest and Solitude
5 Reasons You Need to Play More
The Glory Days are far from over. Not if I have anything to do with it.