As natural nurturers we keep pushing through when the going gets tough with our children and then we sometimes let that translate into our relationships. Does Devotion=Sacrifice? Staying with men who don't even realize they're losing us despite still being with us physically. Staying with the abusers, the misfits, the workaholics, the addicts, the mama's boys, the cheaters, the assholes, the jobless, the moochers, etc.
Think about a man though... when he's tired, he's just tired. How many more times is a man likely to leave a woman who's cheated on him more than once? How many times is a woman likely to leave after more than one occurence of infidelity? It's pretty clear there's a bigger likelihood of a man ending a relationship permanently more times than a woman would. Why is that?
"Men have a stronger need for truth. Women have a stronger need for love."
It always baffles and blows my mind how you can give a friend proof of her man cheating and she's more mad at you then she is at him. She's known for quite some time. She will cry, she'll talk shit, she'll say she'll leave, he might even hit her and yet she stays...
No relationship is perfect but both people need to be equally loving, equally respectful, equally trying to make it not just work, but flourish. You can't hope for change without there being clear indications of someone's desires and actions for it.
If you're a woman reading this, think of a time you either brushed your feelings under the rug for the sake of saving your relationship. Think of your strength. How many times have you endured both physically and mentally, and dragged your ass out of bed to face the day and take care of whatever the day had ahead of you?
If you're a man reading this; Why is it that when men speak their mind they're just speaking their mind but when women do; she's a woman on her period, pms-ing, or being a bitch. She's automatically being too emotional? Isn't that what separates us as humans from animals? Our emotions and intelligence? How many times have you become a drama queen during a bout of the common cold?
Wondering About Your Relationship? Try this Exercise.
I learned something from the book "How Full Is Your Bucket?" and my daughter's school. They taught the Kindergartners about bucket fillers and bucket dippers. Get two (2) jars and a bunch of marbles. When you do something nice for your partner, you put a marble in their jar (bucket filling). If you do the opposite, your partner can take a marble out (bucket dipping), vice versa. Taking something abstract as love and feelings, and putting it in a way we can actually see is extremely enlightening. I personally like to take inventory of how I feel in my relationships. I know what I want, what I don't and what I can't accept. Catalog your feelings. For women who end up with empty buckets remember this:
When you want to run back to such relationships, ask yourself: How am I much different from suicide bombers?
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