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Monday, January 25, 2016

Home is Where the Heart Is

Someone on my Facebook posted this status about how she can't wait for the storm because she's gonna stay in with her husband and cuddle and watch movies a few days ago. I smiled knowing the feeling. A warmth grew over me because it's my favorite thing to do more than anything else. Every time I face a tough decision, I think about that happy feeling and I'm once again clear about what needs to be done, and where my goals are.

Love is constantly choosing the other person over yourself. I learned that for myself a few weeks ago. I finally experienced that expression: "If you love something let it go and if it comes back to you it was meant to be". This entire time I was thinking that the person goes on an exploration and comes back, but not necessarily so. I realize now that you have to let that person go, to do whatever he or she wants to do choosing their happiness over your own, and only then when they DO NOT because they're choosing not to for you; you both choose each other in a sense and that's what makes you meant to be. It's like a test where you hope their compass will redirect back to you.  

Example: Even though he knows he would rather me not go, he lets me, by actually telling me to, and in deciding to go part of me is not okay with it because it's not fair and I see that so I decide for the greater good to stay and my priorities have been realized. Home is where the heart is. In the grand scheme of things, if there's any reason your home may not be intact, are you willing to risk it? Are you going to let anything small ruin the place your heart resides? 

I had to ask myself that question a couple of days ago. I was driving more than halfway to my destination and I couldn't remember if I turned off the stove...anxiety sets in and it's a battle of "don't worry you did it", then "no wait you're fucking crazy go back before you set the house on fire dummy!" So I just turn around and rush back home screwing up my entire day's schedule only to find that I indeed did turn off the stove. [ Lesson of the day: Check that you've turned off the stove, iron, steamer, etc 3x before leaving home. Not only will u have an anxiety disorder but also OCD. =D ]
I followed my heart because home is where it is, my livelihood, my dreams, my future, my goals, my children's future, my everything. 

I talk a great deal about cheating. Sometimes I think about if the opportunity actually presents itself, would I do it?. In my heart, I know I might flirt with the idea but when the moment comes for real action, I'll seize up. I won't be able to go through with it.

A lot of us make decisions irrationally not really questioning; "How will this set a theoretical fire to my home?"

The decisions that brew a silent resentment, the decisions that never sit well in your gut, the decisions that become habitual. You progress to your actions without a doubt that you may have in fact left the stove on. This is what I meant earlier last week about self-awareness. You have to be so keen on what your priorities are. Keen on thinking about how small things add up to how things shift and change. That is love. Awareness. Choosing. Deciding. Love is the evolution of those 3 things combined. That if you might have left a stove on, you're going to turn back and make sure it's not on because you know your heart is there. 

If you love someone, consciously decide what are your priorities are and see to it that they do the same for you. Share this post to spread awareness to all the lovers out there.