Wednesday, February 27, 2013

If I Died Tomorrow

Today my friend told me about her friend's friend if that makes sense. Her friend's friend died in her sleep at the age of 37. It's sad, that's really young. I've always been afraid of death and dying. I imagine how fast my husband would be to move on  with another woman and the horrors of  a step mother my girls would have to deal with. Jealousy immediately overcomes me. Let's face it, men are the first to move on compared to their female counterparts and also the quickest at moving on. The need for a woman not just to fuck but to take care them is like the need for air. I feel fury and sadness at the thought of my girls growing up without a mother, and then I think about my exit. I used to be sooo freakin scared to die, still scared now, but not like I used to be. My faith has restored some strength in me. I know it's all in God's hands, and I mustn't get too attached to material enjoyment. From time to time, I begin to worrying about all the what-if's and shit that happens. The soul is immortal but me as I sit here and type this, is all apart of the material world. We see bad things happening to good people, and heinous crimes being committed and wonder about heaven and hell. My consciousness has been elevated to another level with the understanding that this is the material world we're living in. People and things have no real meaning to the soul. We're here to pay off our debts and get to higher levels of consciousness. Liberation if you must. Only until we reach moksha can we stop the cycle of rebirth/suffering and enter unto paradise. That might not be your beliefs but it's mine.

My mom is the vainest person I know. If we weren't family I'm unsure if we'd be friends. Since I was a child she used to prepare me for "God Forbid I die"...She gave me specific instructions as I am the oldest, it was my responsibility. She even made very clear instructions to things pertaining her hair, nails, outfit, and shoes! Shoes is a must she says, even though our religion condemns it. She mentioned things like jewelry even, lol.  I know scary thought that I'm in charge of all this. If she doesn't get her way she just might haunt me, she said so! She's quite a character, that's probably where I get it from. I take pride in my appearance a lot too, but before my exit I think I'd really like to create a manifesto if you will right here right now. God forbid it be soon, I love my family too dearly to depart so soon. I need to see grandchildren at the very least!

What  I would like to be dressed in is simple. Red is my favorite color, everyone who knows me knows this. Even before red lips came back I've been rockin them relentlessly. My lips should be matte red, liplined with a darker burgundy like I always do. I want my makeup done by a makeup artist, I mean full makeup, contouring, bronzer, blush, even mascara if it could be done. I mean impeccable makeup, not ok makeup. It's my exit, I'm entitled aren't I? I want my eyeliner to be as it always is, beautifully exotic like cleopatra but not too thick. My hair should be in tight curls like a porcelain doll and I should wear a beautiful red dress. My nails should be done to match as well. As for jewelry I don't despise silver, but I'd rather gold toned cosmetic jewelry. Earrings and a necklace is a must. I don't need a watch like my mom does but it'd be nice to wear some gold bangles and a yellow sapphire looking ring would be nice too. The viewing should be short, and the casket should be cheap, there's absolutely no reason to spend a ridiculous amount on a casket or more time spent if I'm gone. I would want my family to just say good-bye and move on.

I just want people to surround my girls with love. Bitches can keep their hands off my husband, lol but I truly would like for the girls to grow up with my friends and family who despite their busy lives make the time to enrich my girls with something invaluable. Keeping in touch isn't as hard as it used to be. A simple phone call to tell them something that instills self confidence, esteem, values, morals, or a story about what their mother would say or do in their pressing situation could make all the difference in their life. I only want for their well-being and happiness. I will have faith that I'm destined to see them grow into adulthood though.

Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof. -Khalil Gibran

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

In Need of Some Ideas!

I've had such a long weekend, and I haven't had much time to share anything spectacular, other than I was so frustrated with the kids driving me nuts that I thank goodness for my husband. He's so sweet and he helps me get my tension out if you know what I mean  =) I feel like we're still teens in H.S <3 I got to go out yesterday too, nothing like some good ole "me time". I can't stress enough how important it is to have time to yourself. If you have kids and you're a SAHM, you know what I'm talking about. Not the time you spent in the shower to shave your legs and wash your hair, I mean the time you go out with your makeup and hair all pretty and you feel good about yourself. To be one with your thoughts in the peace and quiet comfort of the car. I love long drives with the wind in my hair and my music up, but I'll settle for short ones too. I got to pick up some new kitchen stuff I was meaning to buy for a while, buy some new spices for new recipes I wanted to try, buy veggies for the next 10 days, come up with a 7 day meal plan, conjure up what I'm going to do  next with my weight loss plan now that I've lost 8 lbs and plateaued.  Tonight I made Okra with Shrimp curried. It was so delicious. I loved Okra since I was a kid. I know not everybody loves okra, but you've gotta give them a chance, with either soups, or rice, or fried with shrimp. I thought I'd share the benefits of them.

My husband and I were talking about our life together, and that it's been a crazy journey. The ups, the downs, the insanity of cleaning up and turning around and there's a mess all over again, we need a little fun. As we reflected on our  love and what the last 12 yrs has been like he said "this year is our 5 year wedding anniversary, we should do something"...I think that would be awesome. We've always been big on anniversaries. Even in H.S., we'd get all dressed up, and spend the day with sweet surprises for each other, the entire day would be whimsical. People couldn't stand us being all over each other every where we went. We were all over the hallways, but eventually they just got used to it.  I don't know what we'll be able to afford with all the expenses coming up this year, but I want to surprise him with something special however small it is. July is five months away, I think that gives me enough time to cook up something we could enjoy as family, because the problem is I'm gonna have to lug our damn kids with us because we don't have a sitter. If anyone knows of something I could plan in Orlando, or in FL, please leave your comments below. Gift ideas would be greatly appreciated too. As much as I would like a time-out with him alone doing romantic stuff, I can't just leave the kids with anyone. I'm gonna worry and I just don't trust anyone with them. We'll probably have to wait until they're teens before we can leave them and even then I think we'd still be stuck watching over them =( 

I'll pick up tomorrow, time ran away from me tonight. My bed is calling. 

Hasta Mañana...

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Meal Idea: Roasted Dill Potatoes, Breaded Chicken Breasts & Stir Fry Veggies

This meal couldn't get any healthier. If you missed my post on The Skinny on Coconut Oil, let me tell you, yes it has the same amount of calories as regular oil, but guess what? It's a fat burner due to the medium chain fatty acids, and it's rich with wonderful antioxidants (I'm on a quest to stay young, lol). Not to mention it makes the flavors of food even more scrumptious! So even though we're using all these tablespoons of coconut oil, it burns more calories of the whole meal by 15% more. That's like when I go to Macy's and buy everything on sale, and use my star rewards member discount card and get an additional 20%. You bet your lucky stars I'm doing the happy dance at the counter! I love me a great deal, I get a thrill when shopping and saving $ on discounts and sales. Sure I used 2 tbs of butter as well, but it was non-hydrogenated butter, dairy free, and low cal. If there's anything I like most with carbs, it's butter =) I'm infamous for trying to have my pie and eat it too, and I will.  I eat butter, but I do it in a healthy way especially in moderation, which leads me to my next love. 

Flour. I love making roti most. If you're not sure what's a roti, it's a type of west indian flatbread. I'll take a pic of it this week for you. It's comparable to pita bread, naan, or parathas. Nothing like flour tortillas though, it's way yummier, (no offense Mexico). Well this new Flour I bought recently is amazing. I plan on using it from now on for everything. First let me say, if you cook with bleached flour, you might want to stay away from it because they use all these chemicals to age the flour than it would be done naturally. The flour has things in it like chlorine....yes chlorine the thing that keeps pools clean. It contains many other additives that have been linked with cancer too. If you don't believe me, look it up. Anyway unbleached flour is great. It's when you're making cakes, pastries, and breads that you'll notice the difference in density, and would want to use bleached flour. I grew up seeing my family buy it, so I just ended up buying it when I was on my own, but no more now that I know the difference!

What's there not to love? Check it out!

Breaded Chicken Breasts Recipe


4 large chicken breasts sliced in thin slices (butterfly cut) washed and drained. 
3/4 cup Vigo bread crumbs
1/4 cup Ultragrain all purpose flour 
1 egg 
2 tbs water 
black pepper 
3 tbs coconut oil 

  1. Beat egg, add water, salt, and pepper. Set aside in a shallow plate.
  2. Mix flour and bread crumbs in a large shallow plate, set aside. 
  3. Dip chicken breast slices into egg mixture. 
  4. Lay fillet on flour, cover both sides with bread crumb mixture and pound the chicken into it. 
  5. Fry in coconut oil 5 mins each side depending on breast thickness, on medium-low heat. I put 1/2 tbs oil at a time, when I flip fillets to the next side I add another 1/2 tbs. If you add all at once it sucks up all the oil and seems to be cooking too dryly. 

Roasted Dill Potatoes Recipe 


2 lbs red skin potatoes; washed, drained and diced
1 tbs olive oil
1 tbs butter melted 
dill sprinkled 

  1. In a bowl add olive oil, melted butter, and sprinkle dill. 
  2. Bake in a large pan scattered apart at 350 degrees, for 35-45 mins. All depends on the size of sliced potatoes.

Stir-Fry Veggies Recipe


1 large bunch of broccoli crowns, chopped  
4  large Roma tomatoes diced 
8-10 oz whole mushrooms sliced 
1/2 large onion chopped 
1 tbs. coconut oil 
1 tbs. butter 
parsley flakes sprinkled 
seasoning salt sprinkled to taste 
garlic powder sprinkled


  1. Add oil,  fry onions for 1-2 mins. 
  2. Add mushrooms and broccoli. Cook for 3 mins. 
  3. Add tomatoes and butter, parsley, garlic powder, seasoning salt. 
  4. Cook for an additional 7 mins on medium heat. Pay attention to the time, the tomatoes should be softening and getting soaked in the juices, but the broccoli should still have a crunch to it. (I think it's gross if it's soggy.) 

Hasta Mañana...

Monday, February 18, 2013

Meal Idea+Recipe: Peppered Tilapia Fillets

We always want to read and to know about sex and people's thoughts, it's just that we're bound to social norms, values, and religion.  I saw a lot of you enjoyed my post on "Carnal Temptation" from the page view statistics. It doesn't tell you who's looking,  it just says how many views posts receive and what country they're coming from. I didn't think I'd get so many +1s from India on the community bulletins shares, I thought you guys would just call me a whore, if you did it's okay I know you will be back for more juice, lol.  I'll keep those vulgar posts coming when I can. I feel a little relieved and exhilarated to finally let myself speak out to the world. I've shared my blog for the 1st time only last month, and I've got about a 1,000 views already. Keep 'em coming! Share if you care, as you can see I'm not the typical mom blog. I've got nothing to lose at this point. Tonight however, I wanted to share a recipe: Peppered Tilapia Fillets.

My friend told me about this basic seasoning on Tilapia Fillets. Tilapia is a flavorful fish and you can do the simplest things to it and it will taste wonderful. I like adding a few of my own things at different times when I make stuff. I like versatility. If everything is always the same it gets boring, and you don't know what can be improved. I can't stand doing the same thing over and over, it drives me insane. I'm forced into a routine because the kids need it, but it feels like the same ole' shit everyday. I miss being spontaneous, so I do it with cooking. Everyday I have no idea what the fuck I'm gonna make for dinner until about 3pm, lol but don't tell my husband that. That's just between me and you cause I doubt he'll read any recipe posts. He gets home at 5:15-5:30 pm, and when he comes in, it's as though I had it all figured out since this morning hehe.

Peppered Tilapia Fillets


8 Tilapia Fillets
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp chilli pepper
Adobo seasoning salt sprinkled.
1/2 fresh lemon squeezed (optional or save to sprinkle on top of food)
oil (I love coconut oil, did I mention that before?!)
parsley sprinkled

You can always swap out some of the pepper and add "Mccormicks Garlic and Herb" my husband likes that seasoning sooo much, he might be a little obsessed with it, haha. (Every dish he makes he OD's with that seasoning.)


  1. Defrost and wash fish. 
  2. Add all your ingredients. Set aside for 15 mins, or you could skip this, it's not that crucial. 
  3. Add a tablespoon of coconut oil to skillet. Add fillets, and cook on medium-high heat until they're browned but not too much, it can't be turned on the other side too quickly before they fall apart. 

Sweet potatoes is the easiest superfood to add to a lot of your meals. I admit I'm obsessed with it. It's the first thing I run to when I need an extra side. What can I say other than I love my carbs? Pasta is a great with these fillets as well. 

Cultivation to the mind is as necessary as food to the body.
 -Marcus Tullius Cicero 

Hasta Mañana...

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Carnal Temptation

Disclaimer: TMI will be revealed. If we're related, get off this post now.

Tonight I'm up all night. I was so exhausted I went to bed at 8:30 pm, and I woke up around 1:30 am sooo refreshed. I'm fresh as a daisy, but fuck I'm hungry! I'm having some tea and reading up online as usual. I'm like a crazy person tonight. My mind is racing everywhere. I just realized it's 6:15 am right now, my ass should be sleeping. I just read an article I had to blog about. Juicy stuff... =) I'm gonna say some dangerous things out loud. I say them because I'm fearless. I say all the things everyone is thinking, and I will not apologize for it. My husband supports my blog and that's all that matters.

Naturally we're inclined towards attractive people. We're drawn to them, even the article states as a fact that we tend to gaze into the eyes of beautiful people . Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as I stated before in my last blog, but is there a standard for beauty? Yes there is, turns out even babies stare at what majority of people consider attractive, longer than they would at an average person. What makes people average and above average? Symmetry...how symmetrical one side of the face is to the other. That's how the brain decodes attractiveness. It was on Discovery channel a while back. I won't go into full detail, there's more that the brain analyzes but "aint nobody got time for that!" (lmao I love Sweet Brown!!!)

I'm always intrigued by the human mind, what people think and feel. It's just in my inquisitive nature to see people on the highway driving by and wondering what their life is like. How do we actually stay faithful with all these sexy ass people running around? Are we destined to cheat with the media's explicit use of sex appeal in everything we see and hear? Sex sells, look at the porn industry alone. It's a reflex to look at the opposite sex and check them out. I get upset if I see my husband do it when we're in the grocery store, and he honestly makes a point to be very fast, but slick ain't fooling me. When I get jealous, he points out that I'm no saint either, which is true, lol. He compares me looking at an attractive man to eating popcorn and watching a movie! I guess I didn't realize I wasn't playing fair. I feel attractive, I know when I go out I'm well dressed, I don't need to bring sexy back. Even more, I get that validation from men. I love the attention. I don't crave it or seek it out, it's just there in a variety pack waiting for me to indulge. Who doesn't want to know that they still got it? After the changes and sacrifice your body goes through to create a baby or two, who doesn't want to know that they're still sexy? I'm not even at my absolute best to say I've got my thinner body back, but I love my body regardless. I take care of it, I nourish it, and I work on it. It doesn't need to be thin to be provocative or exotic. 

Have men hit on me while I was married?...Of course, they can't help themselves, we all want what we can't have. Will I hit on anyone? Fuck no, anybody who wants me is gonna have to approach me and work for me (I'm a old-school type of gal when it comes to courting) I won't give myself so easily like I have no values. If the guy checking me out is okay, then it's not even a thought. But if he's attractive, it does make you think for a second. Let me clarify though, if he's someone's husband or boyfriend I stay the hell away as far as I can get, cause that's happened before as well. Checking someone out though is normal, it's when it becomes uncomfortable that it's  fuckin' disrespectful... I know if my husband sees a hot chic, he must wonder for that moment, even if it does last more than a second or for 5 minutes, or an hour, it's human nature, that's it, no wrong or right. I'd be stupid to think "oh no he doesn't", or even naive to believe it. Actions however is where you draw the line. Doing something about what your imagination played out in your head is where cheating begins. Even with as much intelligence as we have as humans, we're animals at the core. Hormones, scents, emotions, visual and auditory triggers set us off. My mom used to tell me that in order to keep a man happy, you need to be a maid in the kitchen and a slut in the bedroom, no problem there as my drive has always been high. But what happens when it's a little too high leading to dangerous ideas? Last month I was at the store, and what do you know... an attractive man was checking me out, and he sized me up in the parking lot. I minded my own business, and acted like I wasn't phased. You have to be so careful before you send the wrong signals inviting male pride into the arena. There my mind began wondering, and thought about it for the moment while I put my groceries into the car. I shrugged it off, thinking it was just that I'm a  SAHM, and not getting out much recently made me have such an impulse to even think such impure thoughts. I was a bitch in heat. I left it at that, until this morning...the article made me understand. 

It's not impulse that causes people to cheat, if it was impulse I wouldn't have survived a monogamous relationship for the last 12 years. I'm only 27 years old, I could have been with anybody, but I have strong executive control. That part of my brain knows that I'm IN love with my husband, and we have something too precious to throw away on a little thrill. It's fun to play with fire, but be careful not to get burnt. When you're in love, you don't look it as a lost opportunity, you think about it as "What the hell was I thinking?! I must need more sleep." The article states that people are more prone to infidelity when they're stressed. I realized that my wondering thoughts came at the most opportune time, because at that time, I did feel stressed. My husband was working around the clock on a project he had to deliver for work which in fact meant less time for me and the kids. It was hard for me because I don't have outside time outside of the kids, he is part of my happiness. When I'm not doing my own thing, working on my own stuff, he's my source of joy and comfort. We take our spouses for granted when we get so wrapped up in the hustle to pay the bills, and raise the kids. You don't intend to take each for granted but it happens sometimes, because there are bigger fish to fry. That's why it's especially important to take a time out to reconnect habitually,  and make up for the lapse in quality time that wasn't spent together. My thoughts will probably still wonder from time to time when I see someone attractive, it's just nice to know that I'm in control. If you read this and said that's bullshit you've never had an inkling for something outside of your relationship, then good for you, you're either lying to yourself or you probably have a higher executive control... let's hope you never experience any stress paired with alcohol. =)~ 

To check you and your partner's executive control strength click here: Stroop Task

If you wanna learn more about the science of Sex Appeal:

"An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't." -Sacha Guitry

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

My Beauty Secrets Revealed: Skincare Products Review

Recently, I've had people commenting on my skin, more than 3 people in the last week saying I look so young, in addition to people asking on FB what's my secret. I kind of noticed myself changing. I feel youthful, I feel radiant, I feel good about myself, however everyone's comments especially my mom's via webcam said a lot. I don't  feel the need nor like saying things even if I know them, I wait for people to confirm what I was noticing. Anytime someone feels the need to say out loud how smart or awesome they are, it's especially untrue. It's the ego's way of overcompensating for shortcomings. I don't need to impress anyone but myself. I don't have the best skin there is out there, I still have a lot of flaws in fact; mainly dark spots from acne scarring. For me this is doesn't make me an expert, but someone qualified to share because I've been through hell last year when my face became a war zone due to  my postpartum hormonal imbalance. Makeup does wonders too, don't ever trivialize the magic of makeup.

So with that being said take my advice or leave it. Before you do though, do the research I spent countless nights doing myself reading reviews, watching videos,  and trying and failing crap. If you're wondering why didn't I just go to the Dr., I did and broke out in hives on both medications. We're quick to fill a prescription, but nobody thinks about the work our liver and kidneys go through to process the shit we're quick to pop in our mouths. I foresee an increase in renal failure for our generation.

Face Wash: My most recommended is Aubrey Organics Sea Buckthorn soap, it has sandalwood in it too which is great for skin. This soap is best on all types of skin. I order it at VitaCost when I get my coconut oil. However when I wear makeup, who knows how much extra oil the skin produces to breathe, and pore clogging particles comes on your skin despite it being labeled non-comedogenic. Avid makeup users know that's not true, so to take it all off, I refuse to do the moist towelettes. I must wash with soap and water. I use Neutragena Rapid Clear Oil Controling Foaming Cleanser. It doesn't dry my skin out and it feels so clean when I'm done. Click here to save $10 off your order at VitaCost

Toner: My thing with toner is love/hate, I just wanna wash my face and be over with it , but instead I have no choice but to stick to the routine because it helps me with my breakouts. I use Neutragena Rapid Clear Fight and Fade Toner. For actual breakouts I find it's best to use apple cider vinegar diluted in half water and apply it to the zit with a cotton ball. I hold it there sometimes I feel it working. People on youtube talk about buying the one with "the mother" inside, but I'm okay with the one without that can be found easily in the grocery store. 

Weekly Masks: Are A MUST! I love doing my mask because kaolin clay and sea salt, bergamot and sulfur is soo good for the skin. It feels heavenly. I do 2 masks a week. If you look at my regimen and don't even do half the shit here, thank your parents for the lovely genes and thank God for keeping it that way. Even without skin issues, masks are awesome. You'd love this anyway. My Tuesday night mask is the Formula 10.0.6 Deep Down Detox and my Friday night mask is the Acne Free sulfur mask.

Moisturizer & Repair Serum: Here's where shit just got serious. You're going to spend the most $ on this. But this is the liquid gold. I use the serum first and then the moisturizer. You're welcome bitches, this is the absolute must have. Advanced night repair keeps you young. You can grow old and keep a hot body, but your face is going to tell the truth. 

Spot Treatment: For zits out of control, getting bigger, redder, and squeeze tempting. It's a war out there and you need everything to fight it. I use a combination of E.L.F. Zit Zapper and Mineral Blemish Kit during the day under makeup and Nixoderm at night after my moisturizer. I love Nixoderm most. I get it off Amazon, and I believe its of an African origin. Be advised it smells but who gives if it's doing the job.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Nobody wants to have flaws but we have them anyway. Currently, I'm dealing with horrible dark marks from my acne. I'm working on figuring out where to spend my dollars on a dark spot correcter. If you have something working for you, I'd love to hear about it.  There's nothing more damaging to a beautiful complexion than dark spots. Leave a comment in the box below if you care to share.

Hasta Mañana!

Monday, February 11, 2013

Another Night We'll Remember

Let me tell you all about the nonsense I've had to deal with since I moved to this house. I can't even tell you how anxious I am to move already. Last year we had spiders to deal with, flying roaches that were coming in through the fireplace vents, endless visits from pest control, and sealing up every inch of this place finally helped our bug problem. I was never afraid of these insects before, but I soon became paranoid of them. So fearful that we slept with the bright light on for nearly a month. It didn't stop there, we still sleep with the TV on. Frog in my shower last week wasn't enough. Last night, we had weevils lurking in our room! If I could give you the chronicles of me and my husband arguing about bugs, we'd have our own reality show by now.  He's had it with my bug phobia but fuck I've even had it with my bug phobia. I'm breaking out from all the stress lately. This mofo was to blame. Yes my husband...

It all started a couple of days ago, I found weevils in the pantry. It happens sometimes, when you buy things in bulk and don't use them, sometimes they're already in grains when you buy them. I had em in my airtight container I keep dry split peas in. We make "dahl" often, so I'm usually fully stocked, and that's where these little fuckers came from. I had to clean out the entire pantry to make sure they didn't find their way into the girls' cereals. I left that canister out and specifically stated to this dude; "hey when you take the garbage out,  can you please throw the dahl out and seal the bag?". He says "okay". Fast forward to last night. I'm tired as shit, I come to bed, and for some reason I can't sleep right away. As I say my good nights to this man, I blink twice, and there's a little black speck on his side of the bedroom wall. The TV is always on for this purpose so I can see what the hell is in the room. WTF!... I get up to smash it with my slipper. That's it, nobody's gonna sleep now. I pull out a flash light and inspect the room. There's 2 more weevils in the back of our bed. WTF!!! I'm just about to go crazy. I'm like "how the hell did they get in here!?! Fucking insects are trying to ruin my life!" [Yea, I'm a bit of a drama queen when shit is happening out of my control.] Drum-roll please...

Husband: I threw the dahl outside...
Me: YOU DID WHAT?!!!!!!
Husband: I threw it out there for the birds to eat, I didn't think they could make their way back inside the house.
Me: Well they're in the goddamn house!!! Now we're going to eat them while we sleep, and they're going to be in our sheets, in our hair, our ears! [Lord help me, it's taking every fiber of my being not to beat this man and kill him, I blatantly told him to pour the split peas into the trash and seal the bag and he said okay... I honestly have not only 2 children, but 3.]

I sent him to get the bug spray, and now he's outside spraying near the window, and I'm inside spraying the baseboards, because apparently there's a tiny enough crack for these little bitches to get inside. All this spraying, and the fan  is on, now the room smells, and my nose is burning from the poison. We can't sleep in the room. We progress to our small office, to blow up the air mattress.

Me: You have a problem with listening, don't you! Why on earth did you throw it out there..??
Husband: I don't know! I didn't think it was a big deal.
Me: I get that you didn't know, but this isn't the first time you didn't listen to me and it backfired. [I'm ALWAYS right.]  Did you just spray the entire side of the house, or did you only put it on top of the split peas?
Husband: On top...
Me: What the hell? They're going to smell it and run towards the house. We're going to be infested before we know it! LET'S GO! WE'RE GOING OUTSIDE!

At this point it's 1:40 am and we're outside in the cold, and lo and behold this guy has literally dumped all the split peas in one spot just like I thought, and sprayed bug spray on top of it. We're now out there like the fuckin Blair Witch Project people with our flashlights and our gear. He scoops up the mess of peas throw in in the garbage can outside and re-sprays the house. I go inside to make sure there's not a trail of ants or more weevils getting up from under the carpet. I'm just fed up at this point. We're now in the office going to  sleep on the air bed, and we just bust out laughing. It's been that kind of night. We can't help but laugh hysterically of what has just occurred. Now we both can't even go to sleep. We end up talking about if we had been in Queens, NY where we're both from,  that at least 3 neighbors would have seen us or asked what the hell we were doing out there. We like the privacy FL enables us. We're not even close to rich enough to enjoy this lifestyle in Long Island. Chris say's he's been in love with Florida since he was a kid, that he always bugged his parents to come here every chance he got. I however, always loved NY, and I always will. I will always miss my hometown. That's the irony of it all. That he meets the girl who will end up moving to FL 3 years later because of her family, and now she doesn't mind because it worked out. That's just fate, and since it is, he can rescue me from the creatures that hunt me for as long as he lives. The END.

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart." -Marcus Aurelius

On a side note: Today my grandma would've been 88 years old, may she rest in peace. Where ever she is, I hope she's proud of me.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Slow Cooker Pork Stewed in Rice Recipe

I've been hearing such good things about the Crock-Pot. I used mine maybe a few times, and it was good, but I need some more versatile recipes, so I tried something new this weekend. I've had a lot going on lately, and with my new schedule of supposedly going to bed earlier, and fitting in my 30-45 mins of exercise/multitasking,  I'm just beat. Oh and how could I forget to mention that the girls have been soo bad this past week and it's taking every bit of energy out of me not to run away and never come back. Amorina decided she would have a hunger strike for the last week. Lord knows why she's calling a strike, but anyone who knows me personally knows that's my biggest thing I can't deal with; Kids who don't eat their goddamn food. It's like what kinda mother would I be if I just let them run wild on junk, or not eat solid meals? That's just a bad as raising children without any goddamn manners. My view on having children: Kids need to be clean, healthy, and well spoken....which leads to my #1 problem, my oldest and her attitude. She seems to be having sibling rivalry because she's been acting out for attention and being rude to get it. There is only room for ONE woman in this house and I will not condone bad behavior even as I take my last breath. I really wish these kids had more than just me and their dad, it's sucking the life outta us because they both are demanding a lot. They need our extended families nearby, but there's no way we'll be moving to NY for a very long time. Gosh that felt so good to vent... Now about the recipe...I will be doing more slow cooker meals for the next I don't know....year????????? LOL no, not really, but I will be relying on it more until I can get out of this weird funk I'm in.
I will keep this in mind, to keep going upward. Should it be helpful to you, then I've done something right today.  (Photo from Holistic Dad on FB)

Slow Cooker Pork Stew in Rice


2 lbs Boneless Pork Roast cubed
2 tbsp. oil
1 large onion diced
5-6 medium Roma tomatoes diced
1/2 apple sliced, or you can do a whole. I used Golden Delicious.
Adobo-I don't measure, just sprinkle evenly on the meat
black pepper to taste
cayenne pepper to taste
1.5 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tbsp oregano
1 tbsp parsley
salt to taste
3 cups water, divided
2 cups long grain white rice which you'll add later.

*Note: Be advised, every crock-pot is different, you'll have to see how yours does on time. I have the Crock-Pot brand and it cooks fast.


1) After you've cubed and washed your pork roast, season it with Adobo, ginger, cumin, black pepper, cayenne pepper to your taste. I put as much as 2-3 tsp. of each pepper. 

2) In a skillet, brown the meat on all the sides for a few mins. 

3) Pour it into your crockpot, add onions, tomatoes, apple slices, oregano, parsley and 1 cup water.  

4) Set your slow cooker on low for 6 hours, or high for 3-4 hours. 

5) Add rice and 2 cups water during the last 2 hours on low, or in the last 45 mins on high.


Hasta Mañana...

Saturday, February 9, 2013

An Absolute Must See: The Secret!

Back in college during the darkest times I could remember, I decided one day that's it, I'm gonna change my life. I'm gonna do what I wanna do. I made some radical choices. I moved, I changed my surroundings, I removed everyone and everything that made me unhappy. I watched the documentary "The Secret" and that changed my outlook on life forever. I plan to check it out again this weekend after 5 long years. If you have Netflix, you have to check it out! If you rather read the book, it's "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. If you don't know what I'm talking about YouTube it.

 The book is great but not as great as seeing the movie, you have to sit and watch the entire thing with an open mind. If you're not blown away, then oh well tough shit, one day it will be useful to you. If you are blown away by the amazing things you learn from both scientific facts and spiritual aspects that's only the beginning. After I watched it, I thought back to the good times, and then the bad, it became so clear that the outcomes of those times had a strong correlation to my attitude. If you're feeling kinda blah, drama is always brewing, shit isn't going the way you planned, it's time to reevaluate. Start by making a promise to yourself. You can't love anybody anybody else unless you love yourself first. 

Try This Exercise: 1) Get a notebook and make 3 columns. Write down all the things you want in life, all the things you're grateful for, and all the things bringing you down. 2) Start by removing the things bringing you down, if it's not that simple, then focus on changing those things in positive ways. 3)  Every time you have a negative thought, replace it with a positive one. 4) Dream, imagine, and  fantasize of the things you want and all the things that you're grateful for. One by one they start happening, no joke! Positive thoughts spark possible ideas that turn into constructive actions which will take you where you want to go. 

I think back to my decision to change, I don't know how I was able to do it. God was watching over me, and my attitude was "everything is going to work out just perfectly" and it did. People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I think back to the people I was surrounded by at the time, wondering why we grew apart, but it was just that they were in my path for a reason. They helped my transition become smoother. I'll never forget that time. By God's grace I was never short of anything, and it was an amazing experience. 
On most days, I'm very happy but too scared to admit it because even I know that happiness is one point between two unhappy points. When I don't get to have everything my way is when I start feeling blah, that will turn into resentment, and that begins to fester into a mixture of sadness and anger. It doesn't last long, but when it does happen, it sucks. When that happens I go back to the list...Start remembering what you're most grateful for. That's the easiest way to snap out of your self-destructive thoughts. We're only human, it happens. When I bitch about not getting to go out dancing at the club every now and again, my husband says maybe this life wasn't for me because he's a homebody. People will even say "oh you should have waited till you were older to have kids". I say FUCK that bullshit, I love my kids, but that doesn't mean I should crawl under a rock and die. Had I waited, would it be any less work? No...Do older parents have less needs? Do they still need time to themselves, time to go out, time to have fun? Of course! We all need a break from time to time. I like to have fun, I love to dance, I like having a good time. I obviously have my priorities in order else I'd be in the club every weekend. That's not even the case here. I'd just like to go out one night with my husband every 6-8 weeks. Once a month isn't too much to ask either. Unfortunately we don't have a sitter for our kids. If we got to have that balance of having date nights sometime, maybe I wouldn't miss the child-less days as much. Nothing is about to change, so do I sit here and keep bitching and complaining about the fact that I don't get to put on a sexy black dress and stilettos with my hair and makeup all sexy? No, I just focus on the positive things, the things I'm grateful for. One day at a time, one day I'll have a sitter I can really trust and rely on , and one day they're going to be grown, and I won't have anybody stopping us from doing the things we did as a single couple. It's a bitter pill to swallow. Nothing is wrong with admitting that, because feelings are real, and the next best thing you can do is move on. 

Steer your mind to concentrate on what's happening now. It's best if we keep our thoughts on the present, because we're shaping the future. Nothing good ever comes from dwelling in the past. I know because I used to live there. 

Hasta Mañana...
“For the mind is restless, turbulent, obstinate and very strong, O Krishna, and to subdue it is, it seems to me, more difficult than controlling the wind.” (Arjuna, Bhagavad-gita, 6.34)

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A Letter to my First Born; Isabella

Dear Isabella.

At this point you are four short months to being 4 years old. You are absolutely positively the apple of your dad's eye. I however take the disciplinarian role all the time which leaves me tired, haggard, and unable to be the epitome of affection all the time. You've been testing your boundaries since you were 10 months old, and I have never met a child so smart. I don't say that because you're my daughter or because you're a product of me, but because it's true. Your observations are over-zealous, your thought processes exceed my expectations and I admit to being speechless at times when I can't give you a further answer than what you've just explained to me. Any child can use large words in the right context but your cognition for learning is impeccable.  This week I told you only once that there are 12 months in a year, 4 weeks in a month, and 7 days in a week, and you were able to reiterate that to your dad later that evening. When we talk to you, we don't see a baby anymore, we see a little girl with so much to say.

 Yet as smart as you are, your bubbly personality is anchored by kindness but driven by emotions. You are stubborn nonetheless, your attitude is fierce (of course, look who's your mother and your grandmas) and your temperament is high. You've been a thorn in my side recently with your use of "Fine" and we need to work on that. I find myself talking over and over because you don't listen which leads to big trouble. You know the rules but when I'm on the phone you think it's okay to forget them. When you decide to have a tantrum, I go with the American approach. "I don't negotiate with terrorists". I won't allow you to get sucked into the "I'm entitled" era. If you want something you're going to have to earn it.

When I was having you I wanted a strong name for you. Isabella Selene is not only strong, but it contains a bit of sass and beauty all of which you encompass. If I had known you would be such a strong force in our household I probably would've named you something short and timid. You didn't come with any instructions, and I've made and will continue to make mistakes a long the way. I hope you will forgive me for those mistakes one day, and know that I had the utmost best intentions at heart. My hopes for your future are that you will be an intelligent, confident, respectful, graceful, and beautiful young woman. That the empathy you have now, never leaves you. When I explained today that we mustn't run the water because we're wasting it and that people all over the world don't have clean running water like we do, you replied "I can give them our water." 

I admire the way you care for your sister, the way the two of you laugh until no end, and hug and kiss each other. The bond you both share isn't superior to that of a brother and sister but it's magnified by all the girly giggles, physical affection, and maternal characteristics. You're going to start school this year and it makes me fearful. My expectation is that I will probably cry more than you will, you're braver than I am. It's going to be the first time we're separated. I hope you adapt easily and are well behaved. We've been covering manners and speaking politely for a while now. I love you so much, I can't imagine my life without you. My focus is to instill morals, values, religion, goodness, humanity and most of all; love, so that you will be a positive contributor to society and an even better mother than I am to you. Even if I don't live to see you into adulthood, I hope you will be raised with a strong moral compass and always watch out for your baby sister. Amorina is an angel so far, we're still getting to know who she is as she develops. The blood, sweat, and tears that goes into raising a child can never be measured by the success the child amounts to. As long as you are healthy and happy, I will be happy. Your exuberance is just like mine, just as I look at your face and see my own. Don't let anyone ever take that from you.

I will write to you girls throughout the years as you grow, in order to bridge the gap that grows between mothers and daughters. Regardless of if we grow apart, or share a close kinship, I hope my letters to you will only strengthen that bond and reassure you when times are tough that you're loved no matter what's wrong in the world. There is no love like the love between a mother and her baby.

Forever yours,


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Blue is NOT my Color but I Wear it Boldly Anyway

I usually don't go this long without blogging, but this weekend exhausted me beyond belief. I feel like I'm being pulled back into the darkness again. I started dreaming again. With quality sleep for me has consequences. As far as I can remember, dreams have meant something significant to me. Direct correlations to life. I had some dark themed dreams last week that disturbed me, which I'd rather not discuss. On Saturday while I waited patiently for the puppy to come home, I found a frog in our shower that scared the life out of me. Some people think spirituality is a crock of shit, but I have never been able to distance myself from it. I don't want to believe everything has meaning, but somehow the pieces fit a puzzle in my life. My grandma was like that too, if she had a sudden bad feeling, bad news was on it's way. Before I could think of what the frog meant, much less thinking about how it got there, my friend said it signifies good luck and transitions. There the thoughts began. I'm in transition indeed and I'm scared. A lot is changing this year, I don't cope well with stress. Some say it's bad. All these stupid interpretations, and you remember this is FL, coincidence or not? The native Americans, the indigenous tribes in Africa, Australia, the Mayans, the Egyptians, etc. all believed in spirit matter. Western society however, makes you feel foolish for even thinking that maybe there is a deeper connection.

Lately I feel like I've been so busy with our move next month and stressing about staying on track of my goals. I was on a quest to get myself back. Not just to get my pre-pregnancy body back, but the me I was before children,  before losing my identity, before going through ups and downs, turmoil, resentment, hatred, and most of all  fear and depression. That's the thing about fear it overwhelms you and it can engulf you if you let it. Just when I felt motivated and focused I have a setback and now I feel as if I'm going backward. My latest qualms are all about the future, my mind races, I keep thinking about what's going to happen, or what could happen. I was even pulled back into materialism this past month, thinking about the decor I would work on after I moved, excitement and illusion took me away from what I worked so hard to stay on top of which was self-liberation. If I don't think of God, listen and recite mantras daily, I fall prey to sadness, worry, and stress when something like the stupid meaning of a frog randomly appears in my shower, or when it doesn't work out with a puppy I fell in love with instantly. I was genuinely sad to see her go, she pulled my heart strings when we had to give her up. I felt like a mother giving her child away. I couldn't handle a crying puppy, and two crying kids, and that in turn made me feel like a failure. Insult to injury was added when I was told that I couldn't handle two kids, why was I crazy enough to consider a dog. Just because I'm a SAHM doesn't mean that kids are not as overwhelming as having a job and having kids, and just because someone else is able to do it with three children and a dog, certainly doesn't mean I should be able to. People are different and their support systems are different, thus their experiences will be different. Experiences then changes people into different people etc. It's a cycle, but for some reason people feel the need to compare one another all the time.
"Comparison is the thief of joy" 
I know I'm unique and can't be compared to anyone, but it makes me pissed when people are doing the comparison. When I get blue like this from time to time, I can feel the stress, and see it on my brush. The kids become harder to deal with and I'm no good to anyone. I feel like I need a change in scenery. I took a break from it all. I let myself have a good cry about everything that was bothering me, and now it's time to be positive all over again because I'm human, flawed just like everyone else. I pray about everything, I listened to my songs, disconnected from everyone, watched a good movie last night,  had a drink,  hugged my kids, organized my thoughts by talking about it, made sweet love with my sensible husband and now I'm here back on the horse. This is a journal of self-discovery. I  have much work to do on myself, I need to retrain my thoughts and remind myself that "God is Great" and "Everything will be okay". I'm as real as it gets, I never pretend to be all perfect like some mom blogs. Prayer has to be my constant regardless of how many changes are happening, I've been losing sight of that.

I'm neurotic and my emotions get the best of me.  I found these images recently that sums up the negative effects of emotions. I thought I'd share it with you guys because while it may not be a big deal today or tomorrow, the long term effects of our feelings is something we need to be conscious of.

I'd get a glass of my favorite wine and say cheers to no more emotional roller-coaster rides if it was just that simple. We all know I'd be in AA long before that happens. 

Hasta Mañana...

Friday, February 1, 2013

Lemon Water + Update =)

It's February 1st bitches!!! lol. Time is getting away from me. I was supposed to share some things this week but I got side tracked with the possibility of getting a puppy. My kids will go crazy happy for a puppy I know it, but who has all the work? Mom of course, so I've been schooling myself online on puppy care, housetraining, etc. I didn't know it would be like getting a newborn! OMG, now it's too late to change my mind, my father in-law is getting it already, and hubby is all for it too =/ I'm scared because I've never had a dog and don't know how much of myself I will be able to devote to it. Dude...I'm squeamish about my kids diapers much less a little dog. A Chihuahua by the way... We'll see. I will start with puppy pads.

Getting back to what I wanted to share about lemons...Lemon water is really amazing for a variety of reasons. I've been using a whole lemon with warm water first thing every morning before breakfast. For the month of January I lost 5 lbs. Not bad for just watching my food and doing lemon water, right? I mean I wasn't even seriously watching the calories or doing anything strenuous. That got me thinking, what could I accomplish if put a little more effort into my time management since I've been going to bed earlier.... Hmm-mm. This past week I decided to multi-task, and spend the time during baby's nap that I usually read my novel, re-post memes on FB, and talk/text on the phone. I decided to do all these things, while on the treadmill! I walked briskly while I read my book or went on my phone. I was like what the hell, why didn't I do this all along?  I regained 2 of those 5 lbs lost earlier this month, but as of today, I've lost 2 lbs this week. Still at the 5 lb. mark. I will continue walking daily, and watching my food intake, and let you all know in due time when I have better results. My goal is to lose 10 lbs in 4-5 weeks, which will put me at 15 lbs lost! =) I will let you in on ideas, thoughts, and strategies as I acquire them, but not too soon, as I always tend to jinx myself. I do however, attest to doing this all-natural, no help from pills, programs, or special diets like Atkins, etc. I will find a way to have my cake so to speak and eat it too. I have to. My first recommendation is to get on them lemons, let me give you the jist of it quickly. People enjoy images better, myself included.!!!

Detox your Body!

Benefits of Warm Lemon Water in the morning!

Don't even think about using an alternative! I know lemons are sour, even my husband said to me the other day, why not just make lemonade? 
Even the skin has amazing properties! I read a post recently about a woman who takes the peels and soaks them in maple syrup and eat its, she swears they're delicious. Let me know how it is if anyone is brave enough to try it. I'm not there yet! 

I want to look, feel, and be young for as long as I live. Who wouldn't want that?  I look at my kids sometimes in wonder, because I still feel like that crazy girl in HS. Now with a dog it will be 3 babies for this young mama! By the way I like some of these names for a boy or a girl dog, vote in the comment box below on which names you like best!

Girl: Eva, Scalett, Sage, Zoey, Lola, Lexie, Zola, Ivy, Miss Puddin, Trixie
Boy: Zeus, Zoro, Dusty, Tazz, Titan, Brutus, Leonidas, Nemo
Neutral: Snickers, Lilo, Blue, Butters

"You can free yourself from aging by reinterpreting your body and by grasping the link between belief and biology." -Deepak Chopra
Hasta Mañana!