Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Wishing for an Eternity Together

Tonight I cried happy tears as I sat beside my husband packing up our things in preparation for our move. This is a new chapter. I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm worried, I'm anxious. It will be our 5 year wedding anniversary in July this year, and the last 5 years have been hard, really hard. We've been self-sufficient, and independent of our families. Going through life on our own, on our own terms, by ourselves.  In the last 5 years we've moved 3 times due to different circumstances out of our control,  had 2 babies, lost a few family members and we've accumulated so much. Bills are always piling up, the middle class is dead, yet we continue to dream the American dream. Our hopes, our ideas, were all planted on a vision board my husband created a while back in 06'. "The Secret" is real, and it can be yours too.

I sat on the floor with him reading through our high school yearbook, messages our friends wrote to us, and finally what we wrote to each other. I wrote about his determination, wonderful personality, and the successful future I see for him regardless of if we stayed together. I was worried if he'd regret coming with me to Florida, and thanked him for the best time of my life. He wrote about the end of high school being the beginning of our life, that so much awaits us in Florida, his hopes and dreams of me becoming his bride and the children we would have, their faces, their smiles, and finally the home we would live in. He said I was his forever, and he'd never let me go.

I couldn't hold back the tears reflecting upon what had  transpired over the last 9 years since that letter. I stared at him and he stared back at me, the bond couldn't have gotten any deeper. I thought about how God has blessed us, and with an abundance of gratitude I silently prayed for us to be able to tell these stories to our grandchildren one day. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes you look at others, how easy things come to them and you wonder why it couldn't have been the same for you. Your wonder is not out of jealousy, but a shallow pondering of the who, what, where, how and whys of life. The realization is clear, true happiness lies in the hearts of those who worked the hardest to get there. Being content in this moment is what's most important. The struggles, the tears, the frustration, the petty bickering, all give you a deeper sense of appreciation of life and where we've been. I never want to lose such a humbling feeling ever.

I love this guy soo much even though he frustrates me beyond belief sometime. He is my Rock, my constant in an ever changing world. As I stared at him and smiled thankfully for him, I felt as though I was seeing him for the first time again. My lusty emotions mixed with our eyes locked on to one another. It was a surreal moment where even our souls knew we were made for one another. That's the true meaning of love; the stuff songs are about, novels are forged upon, and movies use to  take on a life of their own. I love everything about him, it's an exhilarating feeling to be IN love with your best friend.

If you love someone, and are going through difficult times, don't let go, keep trying, eventually it will all work out and you'll have an amazing story of a life that wasn't handed to you on a silver platter, but a life that traveled through thorn bushes to get to the bed of roses.

"When you love someone all your saved up wishes start coming true because being in love is what makes working all week bearable. As long as we are persistent in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow." -MizzMichelle S.

Hasta MaƱana...