I wanted to share this because I need to be reminded of these things myself:
I just hate that I've become one of those people that has to track calories and exercise so much that if I don't my body just blows up. It sucks. Some of us have to work harder than others to defy our genetics, metabolism, hormones, whatever. I knew I was different when I couldn't skip a meal and lose a few lbs growing up but this past month really killed my motivation after I saw the downward spiral of merely adding back dairy to my diet. How can we continue to grow and challenge ourselves if we're constantly fighting an internal battle? I sacrificed my exercise time this week to teach my older daughter how to write and I felt bitter at the end of the day. It doesn't matter how well I eat, if I don't exercise, and stay on top of my water intake, supplements, cycle, the lbs just creep up. My hormones are out of wack again, which is why I have the massive warzone going on on my face as well. It's not a pity party. I know what it takes to be healthy and keep my issues in check, I'm just having a damn hard time staying on top of it. In recent news I'm learning about GMOs and gluten wreaking havoc in our systems. I'm not a hypochondriac but when you read about the symptoms of gluten intolerance you can't help but wonder "heyyy... maybe that's what's wrong with me". I've been away from blogging for over a month and there's so much I've learned and want to share. I definitely plan to.
I had a pregnancy scare. I thought I was on to baby #3 and that shit scared me to death. I mean more panic than you felt when you thought you were late in high school. How do you know when you're done having kids, permanently? I feel like I'm done on most days, and on some really good days I imagine having at least one more. I looked for a vasectomy Dr for my husband, now all is left to do is to schedule the damn appointment. He asked me if I was sure and I said yes. The fact remains that we're still young and I go from loving a song one minute to sick of it the next. He's not even 100% sure when we sat and really thought about what that meant. The possibility of being pregnant again didn't shake him as it did me. He automatically said " if it happens, then it just means we're meant to have 3 kids even though it goes against our plan, and we'll deal with it". He worries that our little one Amorina will no longer be a baby and I'll miss having a baby in the house and it will be too late. The need to have a boy isn't even a desire for both of us. We're content in our life; our home, in our family, we can't ask for anything more. Maybe that in itself is reason enough to make the decision, only time will tell.
Timeless possibilities makes the world go around. If we knew what destiny had in store for us, would we get up everyday with such a strong zest for life?