Sunday, January 5, 2014

The Month of Motivation

Happy New Year Everyone!!! Everyday is a struggle to remain positive, but more so coming back from my trip than it was before. 2013 was a great year filled of positive outcomes and positive affirmations, and overcoming the negative. I'm not gonna bore you with the new year new me bullshit everyone posts. The holiday went by so quickly. I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to NYC but plans didn't go without the added stress as usual. What can I say? Drama calls my name. I don't recommend ever going on a vacation longer than 5-7 days even if it's your hometown, even if you're visiting family you haven't seen in forever. I got homesick on the first day and then again by the 5th day. I was there for 11.5 days! It's nuts! I enjoyed having the help of family to take care of the girls and watching them while I gallivanted all over the place at all hours of the day and night. We recently lost our sitter who had a baby of her own, so I'll be looking for someone which will take a while again.

If you do visit New York I highly recommend going to Melody Hookah Lounge in Astoria. I had a blast! The music was great; they played Arabic, House, Techno, Top 40, Rap, Hip Hop, Reggaeton, Latin, etc., and the appetizers and drinks were awesome. They also had a belly-dancer who was pretty good too. The dance floor was kinda small, but overall it was a great night. I let myself drink, smoke, and dance without a care in the world. My husband and I fought like old people about going out to the nightclubs in the first place, but I wasn't having that. If he didn't want to go I was still going to get out there and let loose on my own.. Eventually he caved even though clubs aren't his scene and I learned something about myself when I was there. If I become resentful or angry enough I could very well lead to my own self-destruction. A dark hostility took over me, I felt trapped by something invisible bounding me to be just mother and wife, and I rebelled as I did when I was a teenager. I found myself still fighting for my own sense of individuality and it's crazy that I experienced that at this point of my life. If the opportunity had presented itself at the time to escape, to fuck up, to go wild with abandon I would've done it. The feelings pass but that was the true moment I realized why I don't currently live in NY and why FL kept me grounded as it does most people.

This is my life. 
The culture of NYC as the city that never sleeps can easily cause people like me with an addictive, impulsive personality to easily fall off track. Being born and raised there I never felt bound to any rules, and went with the flow. Moving to FL when I was 18, sort of made me soft. I worried about things, I lived under a rock and I essentially became a different person. When I visited this time, I lost my inhibitions, I lost my worries and just lived for the moment when I was out and about. During the day I would get bored and miss home for the privacy of sitting alone with my own thoughts and feelings but by night I was a bird; energetic and willing to go anywhere and do anything. Being free-spirited has always been me, I hate being tied down. I took the train, the bus, walked, went to Long Island City, Times Square, Rockefeller, Ice Skating in Bryant Park, shopping at Queens Center Mall, had a girls day with two of my closest friends, caught a movie, refused to make time for anyone I didn't speak to regularly, and this time I had such a different appreciation for all of it. I missed the city experience but hated it at the same time. I was a tourist for the first time in my home state.  Now I'm officially a Floridian. I observed so much, and found gratitude for the opportunity to experience both ways of life. If you're not careful though, some of the inevitable negativity crawls up into you from being in that aggressive environment for too long.

I'm going to continue striving for a magical and blessed year. As 50 says; "Turn shit into sugar". Keep praying and believing in something greater than anything you've ever imagined. Since January is the month for sparking all sorts of motivation check this out, you'll love it; 37 Things You'll Regret When You're Old. Be Ahead of the Game.

I did all of this in 2013 and hope to do even more of it in 2014! You all should too!