Tuesday, August 26, 2014


My husband left today on a business trip. I couldn't get that cotton mouth feeling outta my system, all the way to the airport I had that dreadful feeling. He held me tight and kissed me softly a few times, I couldn't help but cry. He hasn't had a major conference or important reason to travel since 2010, but when he does it's big. He's a lead software engineer and he's trying to make things happen for us. He's the smartest person I know, the most ambitious and hardworking man I've ever known. He will not give up. It's no wonder I fell in love with him, but "all a woman can ever hope to be is a pretty little fool". Feminists are rolling over in their graves' right now. We've fought for equal rights, we got it. We fought to be equally educated, we got it. We fought for equal pay, we got it. We didn't think it all the way through though. We still had to carry the children for almost a year if you include the 1st 3 months of nonstop breastfeeding, we still carry more of the burdens of child care and home care. Many thought they were doing something amazing by going out and getting a fancy education and a career, only to feel like they're still pulling that extra shift after a long day at the office and feeling duped out of their children's childhood of many firsts. No matter how you look at it, we're always wide open; vulnerable. Weakened by love of a man and/or love of a child. You fall in love and you give that special someone your heart to hold, when you have a child it's like you have to cut your heart in half and give it to your spouse and child, and they wear it on the outside instead of carrying it safely and gently...You decide to skip that path and eventually fear becoming the cat lady. You reach the pinnacle of your career and success and somehow you're still looking at what's next. You achieve everything and now you're sitting here upset because getting what you thought you wanted isn't so much fun. I get it, that's life. "Be Strong" they say...

Is it time to dream up a new dream yet? Probably not, the kids need you. You've got to become the master of disguise, whatever is bothering you can wait just like how emptying your bladder when you're trying to put food on the table can wait.
 The pathetic moment when you realize that your emotions are your biggest weakness... How can someone just leave home temporarily and make your heart ache? I said I'd never be that woman who loses herself and here I am lost.
It doesn't even matter how many different things I've got going for me, how many things I can do to keep myself entertained, or all the things I've done to maintain my individuality. I want no part of those things. I just fuckin miss him! The worst part is the loss of control. You've got to make peace with this shit, you don't have a choice. He's going to be back in 2 days, and this is how I feel. An emptiness in the kids, in every room of our house, in our bed... I always said I'd never date a police officer, Dr., lawyer, or someone in the military for the same reason, I need a lover in the flesh majority of the time. If this is how I feel about 2 more days maybe I should really run away, because something must be wrong with me and missing someone who will be back in 2 days is ridiculous right? 

Will I get over it? Of course. When he gets back it will be back to being positive and and thankfully happy. Will I cry again the next time he leaves in another month? Of course. Am I being dramatic? Hell no, I refuse to apologize for how I feel, chalking it up to "being dramatic". Will I break up the most beautiful but soul crushing thing I've dreamt about, wished on stars for, and finally created, probably not. Love=Weakness. Some would say it's being clingy, but you wouldn't even know how much it hurts till you find yourself missing someone like no tomorrow, even irrationally so.  
"Happiness is a point between two points of unhappiness."

I hope it's all worth it in the end.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Silent STRESS: Type A Personalities/Moms Can Relate

I'm a very observant person, I always see people driving, or walking somewhere and I start to wonder what their lives are like. My imagination wanders aimlessly sometimes. I feel things very deeply. I've driven by car crashes and have been in tears upon the sight of the crash wondering about the people and their families involved. I was an extra sensitive person since I was a child. I'm not sure what makes me feel things so intensely but I'm easily moved and easily angered. If I'm not self-aware, I take on too much and end up in a very dark place in life. The other day, I was in the grocery store and I saw a pretty couple at the end of the aisle with their two children. I admired the family. As I got closer I took a look at the woman's face, and realized she wasn't as young as she looked from far away. She was still pretty, but she had a bit of fine lines in her face, makeup nicely done, maybe they were wrinkles but she definitely looked older. Looking at the family they weren't an old family, their oldest looked about 8 or 10 yrs old?  From her tone, she just wanted to get what she was there for, her husband was looking laid back and fresh as a daisy, she didn't even see me when I walked past her. I could feel her STRESS...

Say the word and it really has no affect on what/how we think or how we feel. It will roll off your tongue without effect. Nobody takes that shit seriously. Until you're dealing with a child throwing a tantrum and you feel steam coming out of your ears while your other child keeps saying Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom! We hear about "stress kills", we hear people say "don't stress"...."Calm down". Been there done that, until the next thing you know you're under pressure trying to get a million things done, things are not going as you planned, and you're fuckin' fuming at this rate. You're grinding your teeth, maybe you're slamming doors, or maybe you're just cursing and you don't give a shit who's around or who's not. How can this be happening? You carefully planned the day and woke up with this great attitude, feeling productive and everything is getting fucked up!

I looked at that woman and for about another 15 minutes, I felt sad for her. Maybe I was making up my own story about her, hell maybe I was just sad because seeing her made me wonder about my own future. To make myself get out the funk I said well maybe she's a smoker, smoking can seriously do that to your face...but so can stress.

Stress is fucking you up. SERIOUSLY.... It's wreaking havoc in your mind, your body, spiritually, emotionally...Who can be positive when your nerves are shot? That's the last thing you want to hear.

Here's the thing about stress; Everything gives you stress! Whether it's being late, being stuck in traffic, getting upset because you stumped your toe, relationships, children, fussing over your hair, deadlines, negative people, negative environments, the weather, etc. Everything is stress. The good news it that it's all about how you cope with stress if you don't cope with the stress it just gets balled up in your body and presents itself as inflammation or it can be reflected with hair loss, weight gain, sleep disturbances, eating habits, choices, heart health...basically disturbing any or every aspect of your body and life. The stress hormone cortisol is released every time you're stressed. If your body is dumping out lots and lots of cortisol and you don't find ways to deal with the stress such as taking steps to reduce stress and promote relaxation/lower cortisol levels then that's when it becomes a big problem and it will show up in your body as disease, maybe not right away but over time.

I read about stress back prehistorically when we were cavemen and the stress was a fight or flight response. Like if you're in danger , you ran and worked that adrenaline off. However, today's day and age is not the same. We're not running away from bears or tigers, our stress is completely mental. It's from outside factors. The pressures of life is what causes stress and that's the kind of stress we're not running off to counteract it's effects right away. We're not coping with our flight or fight response well at all. It just builds up.

This past week was the first week of school, my daughter started Kindergarten. Change takes a toll on me. Things are always changing but I don't handle transitions well. Right now so many other things are on my mind and I feel like I'm circling the drain. The darkness is filling up inside me again. I need a breather, an escape, a fucking distraction right now. It takes time, but I'm not sure how much, it all depends.

Everybody is going through their own personal versions of hell. I was talking to a friend about hair loss because I've been through it. It's all the same, stress because of shit we can't control. It's like I have to keep finding ways to distract myself. I go through the same shit all the time, every day sometimes. My husband tells me "well look that's why your hair falls out because you can't just let go, why does one thing have to ruin the day? I honestly think that's just from having a Type A personality and I don't really know how to change that aspect. I have standards, things need to be a certain way. My older daughter is becoming just like me, she just had a fit the other day because I opened her book-bag to go through the daily communication folder her teacher sends. She started jumping up and down and crying/yelling that I wasn't supposed to go in there because I ruined her art surprise she made for me. There I was preaching "calm down it's OK", when I act the same way when some shit don't go my way.

You have no choice but to keep on going. There is no giving up. Sometimes we triumph and sometimes we lose. I will tell you next time though, how it is I keep going, and what helps me get past all the things that stress me the fuck out. This post is already too long to include it. Nobody makes it out alive, I was just hoping to be the youthful and radiant old lady when I go.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Nicki Minaj "Anaconda" Video Premiere

The "Anaconda" Music Video Finally Premiered.... Was it worth the hype? Thoughts?

Where's the giant anaconda though?...Am I the only one who was looking forward to seeing an actual anaconda?


FACE WASH: My Konjac Sponge+Avalon Organics Cleanser Review

I've been on this new facial routine as I've been trying to limit the products I'm using because chemicals are in everything. Yea I know....everything is toxic, I'm rolling my eyes too. It's fucking annoying. Like I said, I change what I can, and do the best I can in life. Don't half-ass your efforts to go organic while you slather on bottles of cancer.

My skin is combination skin, sometimes it's dry, sometimes it's oily depending on the weather. I highly recommend these two items!

  • My Konjac Sponge
  • Avalon Organics Vitamin C Cleanser 
Two friends told me about these products. The reviews were awesome and since I have acne I didn't have anything to lose. I tried the Avalon Organics cleanser since Sept 2013 and the Konjac Sponge since January 2014. I love them both. Amazon Prime is sooooo awesome I get everything I can on there. I got them both on Amazon, links can be found below. You can get the Avalon Organics at the drugstore as well, but I never saw the sponge there.

I used to use the facial cleanser alone, but when I got the sponge I put the gel on the sponge and it gave me a great exfoliation without stripping away too much moisture from my face. It can be used alone if you want as well. My face got softer, smoother and a little more even toned. It helps beat my breakouts which are mostly hormone-related, and it is a gentle exfoliate for my acne scars which I'm still trying to find a cream for.

I use the Bamboo Charcoal one for Acne-Prone Skin

What's the Sponge made of?

Made from the root of the konjac plant, these squishy sponges are used in your cleansing routine to help you more effectively dislodge, dirt, oil, and blackheads. "Konjac sponges are made from a natural fiber that absorbs a lot of water, so it has a very unique texture, kind of like a thick piece of rubbery felt," explains Dr. Jessica Wu, a Los Angeles dermatologist and author of Feed Your Face. "It has more texture than a dish sponge, but it's softer than a loofah and has a finer texture than a washcloth, so it's safe to use on your face. Your skin will feel very soft and smooth, and makeup will go on better."
What is the effect of the konjac sponge on my skin?
The konjac sponge is small but has many special qualities:
  • It cleans the skin WITHOUT soap
  • It allows a comfortable and gentle peeling
  • It moisturizes naturally
  • 100% natural
  • 100% no artificial colors
  • 100% without additives
  • 100% vegan
  • 100% biodegradable
  • 100% renewable raw material
  • sustainability
  • environmentally friendly
How to Use the Sponge:

Choose a Sponge based on your Skin Type:

What's the Cleansing Gel made of?

Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Juice(1), Aqua (Water), Decyl Glucoside, Sorbitol, Coco-Glucoside, Xanthan Gum, Citrus Aurantium Bergamia (Bergamot) Fruit Oil, Citrus Aurantium Dulcis (Orange) Peel Oil, Citrus Limon (Lemon) Peel Oil, Arnica Montana Flower Extract(1), Camellia Sinensis Leaf Extract(1), Chamomilla Recutita (Matricaria) Flower Extract(1), Citrus Limon (Lemon) Peel Extract*, Lavandula Angustifolia (Lavender) Flower/Leaf/Stem Extract(1), Olea Europaea (Olive) Leaf Extract(1), Ascorbyl Glucoside, Bisabolol, Citric Acid, Glycerin, Glyceryl Oleate, Hydrolyzed Wheat Protein, Tocopheryl Acetate, Alcohol(1), Benzyl Alcohol, Potassium Sorbate, Sodium Benzoate, Limonene

  • Antioxidant-intensive cleanser lathers, brightens and provides Photo-Aging Defense.
  • Pure botanical cleansers lather away toxins and impurities for fresh, bright skin. 
  • Plant-derived and antioxidant-rich Vitamin C, Lemon Bioflavonoids and White Tea soothe oxidative stress and help fight the visible signs of photo-aging-(you know that last part really got me sold, lol
  • Vitamin C/ascorbic acid neutralizes free radicals and boosts collagen and elastin production
  • Cruelty-free cosmetics, no animal testing and 100% vegetarian
  • NSF/ANSI 305 certified organic established specifically for personal care products

****I do not get paid for any product reviews/opinions featured on my site. However, I do get paid for advertisements on my page but again, not for my content.***


Tuesday, August 19, 2014

How to Regulate your Monthly Cycles Naturally

What are irregular periods?
-Irregular periods are when your periods don't come at all for a while but then shows up without a typical pattern. Periods ranging from 21-35 days are typically normal on average, but when you go from them coming every 35 days, to 40 days later the next month, and then 28 days later the month after, that's definitely irregular.

Why does it affect fertility? 
-Pinpointing ovulation becomes harder therefore people with irregular periods have a harder time getting pregnant.

Dr's hate when you know your shit,
especially the alternatives:

Dr: "I'd like for you to go on birth control
to regulate your pd."

Michelle: "Birth Control makes you fat. Besides
 there's too many side effects
and it's linked with cancer"

Dr: So does Pregnancy...

Michelle: [rolls eyes] this mothafucker...
I went from a 28 day cycle to a 45-60 day cycle several times over the years. It was weird, and at first I didn't know or understand why or how, I just listened to my doctor and went on Birth control. I spent a year on Nuvaring and while it was good in terms of low side effects, ease of use,  etc. I did gain weight on it and it did make me feel kind of robotic. I'm a very sensitive person with a fiery personality. I feel things deeply and am in tuned with my emotions and sensuality. That year on birth control I found that I wasn't really as passionate when I was intimate. After getting off birth control, I felt like me again, and I enjoyed sex more. After I had my 2nd child, I tried the Pill and again it was the same thing, a little weirder. My moods were all over the place, and I just quit. I mean if birth control is supposed to work by throwing you off emotionally and physically to the point where you didn't care to be romantic then it sure worked. With all those lawyer commercials on TV talking about "If you've been on; "(almost any birth control you could name)" you may be entitled to a class action settlement" I got paranoid and freaked out in the middle of the night one time thinking I was having symptoms of a blood clot. The list of side effects was messing with me, so I quit birth control and started using natural methods for regulating my period/hormones and it helped me tremendously.

How can I regulate my period Naturally
For starters, you MUST see a Dr. have labs done testing for Anemia, thyroid functioning, CBC, and pelvic exam/Pap smear. In addition this goes without saying: Eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep, lower stress, and exercise for at least 30 minutes 3 times a week. Anything excessive including exercise will throw off your cycle. Cutting out essential food groups like carbs or fat is a big no-no as well. Nutrition, exercise, sleep, and lowering stress is the key. After completing/addressing those 5 components you can look into trying these:

  • Lunaception- the practice of balancing hormones by controlling the light in the room where we sleep. Our hormone production is done at night, and light in the room signals certain hormones to be released. Ancient civilizations such as the Mayans/Incas synchronized their cycles with the moon as the full moon and it’s extra light signaled their bodies to ovulate. After the invention of electricity; TV's in the bedroom, cell phones, computers, night lights etc,  it causes the hormone production to get interrupted. Using this method can re-balance hormones. 
Full moon – signals ovulation (sleep with a little light in the room for 2 days)
New moon – menstruation (Start sleeping in complete darkness right before ovulation again)
  • Acupuncture-regulates blood flow, helps those with PCOS or endometriosis especially.  
  • See a Naturopath/Certified Herbalist about taking these herbs/oils/powder in the proper dosages/combinations tailored to you and your body. The powerful herbs/powders/oils are: 
    Source: http://natural-fertility-info.com/how-to-get-your-period-back.html
    • Black cohosh* 
    • Ginger 
    • Vitex*: Agnus Cactus, Chasteberry 
    • Evening primrose oil* 
    • Wild Yam Root
    • Dong Quai root 
    • Motherwort
    • White Peony
    • Maca Powder*
    • Nettle Leaf Tea- If you haven’t tried herbal tea to regulate your cycle, check out Yogi Woman’s Energy Tea or Yogi Woman's Moon Cycle. It’s made with Nettle Leaf, Dong Quai and other various herbs.

      Source: http://natural-fertility-info.com/how-to-get-your-period-back.html
*Please use caution when experimenting with herbs/oils/teas. For example evening primrose oil, and agnus cactus (Vitex) is supposed to be taken from Day 1 (start of period) to Day 14 (ovulation day of a 28 day period). If you are trying to get pregnant, stop taking the supplement after Ovulation, as it might interfere with implantation and/or hormones needed to sustain the pregnancy.

  • Reflexology/Massages are great for reducing stress and is said to help increase fertility. Whether it works or not is not conclusive, there's not sufficient evidence /research to sway in either direction. However spiritual healers like Kara Maria Ananda wrote a piece about massaging your womb yourself that I can't seem to find anywhere, but when I do I'll update a link here. She currently does online workshops for healing: http://karamariaananda.com/womens-healing-arts-teacher-training

  • Schuessler Cell Salts- Our body needs mineral salts on a cellular level to thrive. Today, due to overcooking, microwaving, GMO's depleting the mineral composition in our soils, and basically eating an acidic diet, we are deficient in mineral cell salts. There 27 tissue salts developed by Dr. Wilhelm Heinrich Schuessler, a German doctor from the 19th century. Deficiencies of mineral cell salts in the body present itself in a variety of forms from dandruff, acne, to even more serious diseases in the body such as diabetes, cancer etc. I will discuss these salts in depth later on as I'm currently trying some. As a homeopathic remedy, it is said to be safe for people of all ages (infants-elderly of all conditions, pregnant or on medications). For infertility see here for more information and salt combinations recommended:
For natural fertility tips on TTC click here.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Trying to Conceive (TTC): Natural Fertility Tips

Of all the things I've shared so far I actually forgot to talk about the life-changing journey from the conception to birth of my children. I'm most experienced and well-versed in this area through years of reading books, forums, talking to people, and watching educational videos. Everybody's experience is so different, every story each so special, and everything you go through are all equally amazing, damaging, and blissfully ignorant at times. After my husband and I got married, having had been together 8 years at that point we knew it was time to start a family right away, it was the one thing we both felt would complete us. Both of my kids were planned. I don't openly admit or talk about them being planned with my family because it's too weird, and because it's something that I wanted to do without my mind being clouded. We started trying and I had no idea how long it would take. I suspected I would have trouble because of my hormonal issues over the years, and because of the fact that we spent 8 years being reckless and never had an accident. I was on birth control once for about a year and that's it. I have only used natural family planning methods even until presently. I've had 2 natural births, no perineal tearing/episiotomies, and I breastfed both of my kids; one for 2 mos and the other for 6 mos. They are now 5, and 2 years old.

I signed up for fertilityfriend.com after the first month because I was too disappointed by the negative pregnancy test. That's just how I am, when I want something I want it now, despite knowing that these things take time. I learned so much as I spent hours and hours reading. I wasn't working at the time, so I spent every waking moment on trying to conceive through knowledge. I delve into everything in life by making a project out of it. No detail could be spared. I started by taking my basal body temperature and charting my cervical mucus. I highly believe in charting your periods every month and pinpointing ovulation. I didn't get any fancy test kits, any special "pre-seed" lube, or scheduled sex. I listened to my body, and looked at the temps daily, and sure enough by the 2nd month I was pregnant.

The second time around for baby#2 I used the Period Tracker app on my phone, again the first month nothing happened, I didn't bother with the basal body temperature this time, feeling so expertly confident. The next month I paid more attention to my cervical mucus, but by the time my cycle was coming to an end, I got a negative pregnancy test again. I spiraled downward just feeling blah and sad because the disappointment hit me harder this time. I just kept waiting for my period so I could start all over again. I was a moody mess, when one night my husband was like "why don't you take another test?". I said "I only have 1 test left and I don't wanna be disappointed all over again in the middle of the night, I know it's going to be negative, it was last week when I was already late..". He was like, "just take another test, you never know". So I went and took the test waiting patiently in the bathroom with my adrenaline starting to pump hoping it will positive even though I kept telling myself not to get my hopes up and there it was.. A BIG FAT POSITIVE! For those of you who have been there, you know this feeling. I was so excited!

A friend was trying last year and I gave her some tips and she was pregnant the month after we spoke, I thought I'd share them with you all.

Tips when Trying to Conceive (TTC)

  • Use a period tracker app if you don't already. Period tracker will help pinpoint when you're most fertile and when is ovulation.
  • Pay close attention to your cervical mucus. When you're near ovulation your discharge will be clear and stretchy. That's the optimal time to have sex. You don't need to have sex every single day that week but 3-4 times should be sufficient. Some would say doing it everyday decreases his load and thus your chances, others say do it every single day. Really this shouldn't be a chore now, just have fun!
  • After sex, don't get up right away. You can get pillows and tilt your hips upward if possible. 10-15 mins is good enough. Orgasms are a must by the way, if they weren't before they are now! =x Orgasms cause uterine contractions which help the little swimmers move up to find the egg. =)
  • Don't try to diet when TTC, it's counter intuitive, your body needs plenty of rest, wholesome foods, none of that processed crap. Vitamin and mineral rich foods, namely Omega's, folic acid, potassium, zinc, calcium, iron, choline, etc. While TTC, this is the best time to get on a prenatal vitamin. Don't forget protein, whole grains, fruit, vegetables, and stay away from sugar.
  • I believe in something called Lunaception. Very early civilizations used the moon for fertility, growing and harvesting crops, and understood it's effect on mankind physically and emotionally. If you don't have normal periods, click here to learn about the different ways to regulate your periods naturallyIt will also cover homeopathic cell salts in which I'm doing more research on. In the meantime look in to this herbal tea, it's said to help: FertiliTea
  • If you're used to doing exercise, continue. If you're not, now's a good time to get moving and do what you can. It could be jumping jacks, brisk walking, a yoga DVD or whatever you feel comfortable doing to get a sweat, even if it's for 15 mins. Exercise regulates your body's fertility and metabolic hormones and increases fertility. If you're significantly overweight, losing weight would help increase your chances. Don't forget to stay hydrated!

  • Up your Fat intake. People freak out when I say this. We live in a world of lies, and misinformation, and the result steadily shows the rise in diseases and infertility rates. Saturated fat no longer needs to be banned. Eat grass-fed meats and butter, coconut, olive, and fish oils, avocados, nuts. Go organic as much as possible. Stay away from soy as it mimics estrogen. 
  • Nourish your mind not just your body. Don't stress about how long you've been TTC. I always see stories about people who stop trying or adopt and they get pregnant later on. I hate that things take time also, but they do. Stress delays everything. Go for massages, see a naturopathic doctor if your OB/GYN doesn't see anything physically wrong with both you and your partner and it's been over a year of trying. Many women have been able to conceive after seeing either an naturopath or acupuncturist. A certified herbalist could also be helpful.
  • Be Positive. Scientists confirm a mind-body link. What we think we become. If a doctor tells you that you're infertile and your uterus is still intact, you're having periods even if they're irregular, have PCOS, or fibroids, it's still possible to get pregnant and carry a baby to term.
  • I found the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting" by Heidi Murkoff and the website Babycenter.com to be my #1 go-to guide. I'm not sure if there are any better resources than those two, but if you do have suggestions, please leave them in the comment box below.
  • When in doubt, get a 2nd/3rd opinion. Clomid is definitely over-prescribed these days.
  • I heard about a product called "Pre-seed" lubricant. This is my take on it: The positive reviews this product got can't be attributed to the actual effectiveness, because we will never know what were the circumstances of those couples' fertility. We've been populating this earth for hundreds of years before products were commercialized and marketed. If you:  
    • Are having periods 
    • Don't have anything wrong or in need of an intervention (cysts, etc.)
    • Have no obstruction/scarring in the Fallopian tubes 
    • Are producing hormones that would ensure ovulation (can be checked by your Dr.) 
    • Have signs of ovulation like cervical mucus, and basal body drop in temperature
    • Your husband's sperm count/quality is good 
    • You are having sex regularly

Then: it's only a matter of time. If your cervical mucus/dryness is a problem then by all means get the product. Personally I'd rather keep the natural pH balance going on down there instead of mess with it, but when I look at that product this is what I'm seeing: 

Ingredients: Purified water, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Pluronic, Sodium Chloride, Sodium Phosphate, Carbomer, Methylparaben, Sodium Hydroxide, Arabinogalactan, Potassium Phosphate, Propylparaben >>>(WTF?) 

Knowledge is Power only when being Used. Best wishes and Good Luck!


Basal body temp charting: http://www.sisterzeus.com/bbt_risk_of_preg.html

Community forum/support: http://www.twoweekwait.com/

Human Physiology/The COMPLETE Female Reproductive System Guide: http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Human_Physiology/The_female_reproductive_system#Factors_of_Infertility



Friday, August 8, 2014

The Super Bread Machine Review + Recipe

I've been meaning to write this review for a while now, my friend keeps saying I need to blog this and that, basically everything I share with them but time escapes me. It's the story of my life, but whatever. If you're a carb lover like I am, and you love bread, Panera Bread, or plain bread to gourmet breads, you will absolutely love a bread machine.

How cute is my shirt? I loved baking bread so much that my husband got me this shirt from our fave show "Breaking Bad".

I love baking bread and I never thought I could do it so effortlessly. I'm thinking about trying to go on a gluten-free diet but I haven't had any luck with the alternatives for bread and pasta. If you have any great gluten-free bread recipes, please share them with me.

My oldest daughter loves bread too, so I started out making it for her because the store breads have too many chemicals. After about a year of baking my bread by hand I invested in a bread machine and I would never go back. It's amazing. We bake a XL Honey Wheat with Pumpkin Seed loaf once a week. 

Panasonic SD-YD250 Automatic Bread Maker with Yeast Dispenser, White 

  1. Save time and schedule ahead! You can have freshly baked bread programmed for when you wake up! Or choose Rapid Bake if you need it to get started right away. 
  2. Save time and energy on the preparation and cleanup! You just throw your ingredients in and push a button. When it's done, it pops out clean and you can just rinse the inside and put the machine away.
  3. Forget about the Kitchen Aid Mixer....this machine can mix dough for pizza, pastries, rolls, bagels, cakes, even Roti etc. 
  4. Comes with about 40 recipes for wheat, multigrain, basic, french, or pizza dough. A measuring cup and measuring spoons included. 
  5. Equipped to knead, mix, rise, stir, and bake from start to finish in about 4 hours, 2 hours for rapid bake. 
This pic won't fuckin' rotate for some reason...

Where did I get mine from? Amazon Prime is awesome but their Prime Pantry sucks! 

XL Honey Wheat with Pumpkin Seed Bread Machine Recipe 


2 3/4 cup white flour
1 1/2 cup wheat flour
1 cup quick cooking oats
1/3-1/2 cup honey
2 tbs. sugar
1 tsp. salt
3 tbs. butter
1/3 cup pumpkin seeds
1 1/2 warm water
1 tbs. active dry yeast placed in the dispenser

-You basically add all the ingredients by dry ingredients first and liquids last and select Basic, Light Crust, and push Start.


Update: Someone asked me if it can make artisan bread, the answer is: Unfortunately it can't BAKE the artisan bread with a really hard or crispy crust to the degree that specialty bakers do, but you can always use the dough function and let it rise etc, take it out and throw in your own oven. It still saves you the time, energy, and mess as all you will be doing is taking the dough out and putting it in your oven and getting the same great consistency. So far I've only made sandwich bread, a garlic Italian herb loaf, and the honey wheat my family loves.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Bohemian Anxiety Girl Here

I've been tired as shit and going to bed early these days. Even when I come online, I've been unable to share some posts. I know my potential to write great posts is there, but it's extremely difficult to stay on task. Goals are important to me. Sure we don't leave the world any richer regardless of whatever material gains we acquire in life, but it's a matter of determination, discipline and control over your thoughts and actions that lead to self-realization or moksha. I wish I could be free. Free from responsibilities, or anything that bounds me to time, but you can't be goal oriented and care-less at the same time.

 Through our daily efforts towards our goals we grow, we experience, and then life will test your beliefs. I've been talking about having faith and being positive for so long that the time finally came for me to be tested. For two long weeks I waited patiently for medical test results. The real test was of my faith, my strength, my potential to be positive and patient through it all. Did I go crazy? Hell yea, there were times I thought I'd run mad, or burst into tears at the thought of being sick or dying because I'm so scared to die and I have so much to live for.

That middle part makes me shiver...
If you're going through a rough time like I've been, it's a struggle to stay positive. Keep your mind focused on your goals and the things you absolutely love. Sometimes the means to the end don't work out. I'm trying to be flexible and let go of the things I can't change. It restores my faith in God and all the great things I want to experience.

I can be positive all week and then all ova sudden it's like BAM! Something else is bothering me like this whole shit with Ebola. I'm becoming hypochondriac girl. I get so fuckin' scared about everything and start going into disaster planning mode. Too much "Walking Dead"? Probably. I'm even applying for my little one's passport this weekend...My husband's like "when you're done panicking you can find me right here; working". As usual, he's so damn calm and collective. (Secretly I'm jealous of his cool confidence and it sometimes makes me really horny =x). He doesn't have time for my shenanigans even though I keep him entertained and up to date with what's the next big thing that's about to take down humanity and the world as we know it. This is another reason we need weed to be legal in FL. I just wanna mellow out sometimes, just a tad bit.

The summer went by fairly quickly. I read some great books and had awesome people over, got much needed rest, and spent a lot of quality time with the kids doing things. It was like I blinked and it's over, my older daughter is now entering kindergarten shortly. With the new schedule and having only my youngest to take care of during the day, I hope to be here full time with new and exciting posts to share. I've been slacking of course, but if there's one thing about me of all my busy body tendencies, it's that I never give up. Here's a little perspective a FB friend was able to give me if you're staying up to date on Ebola. Anxiety girl was able to calm down a little. On the real though, I think my anxiety is the result of loving and living a happy and abundant life and never wanting to know anything different.