Wednesday, September 10, 2014

The Things We FEAR

I think about the past, live in the present, but look forward to the future. I reminisce about the past because it reminds me of a blissful time when I was wild and free. Free from responsibilities, and free to live a care-free life. I live in the present because I'm humble, I know how precious every moment is and remember that it doesn't last forever. I look forward to the future because it's when I would've accomplished my goals, dreams, or reached the next milestone, but I FEAR... 

I've seen about five videos recently on roller-coaster malfunctions. I've only been on one roller-coaster ride and I'm so scared. I don't know why the hell I freak out. I'm always the one stuck holding people's shit while they go on all those crazy rides  I have a fear of heights... but then again I'm scared of everything. Sometimes my husband and I would be talking about something, anything, and eventually somewhere along that conversation I end up saying "nah I'm scared of that shit". His sarcastic response is always the same: "what aren't you afraid of?" Honestly I don't know.

I used to watch horror movies and love em. After I had my first child, I couldn't handle a paranormal movie. I can watch people getting hacked up, ripped apart, all that gore as long as it's a movie, not real life, but tell me something spiritual and I get a shiver up my spine.

What am I scared of? 

I'm scared of heights. 
I'm scared of bugs. 
I'm scared of diseases. 
I'm scared of vaccinations, even though I've succumbed to the pressures of the pediatrician and let my kids get em. 
I'm scared of drowning.
I'm scared of dark waters, I'd never put my foot in a lake that's dark.
I'm scared of car accidents.
I'm scared of car accidents in the water.
I'm scared of rejection. 
I'm scared of all the bad things that could happen to myself or my family.
I'm scared of dying. 
I'm scared of creepy sounds. 
I'm scared of getting my heart broken.
I'm scared of transitions. 
I'm scared of getting old, fragile, or weak.
I'm scared of failure.
I'm scared of total darkness.
I'm scared of loss.
I'm scared of small spaces.
I'm scared of pain.
I'm scared of sleeping alone.
I'm scared of things being too good to be true. 

Having just typed all this out knowing there's probably still some things missing from this very long list, a few things are pretty clear:

Damn...I turned into one big pussy [pun intended], I'm not who I used to be and all those things are out of my control. I gotta stop wondering/worrying about the unknown because thoughts become reality through the law of attraction. Acknowledging this makes me feel better and every time a fear starts to come up I will deal with it differently because I have not only listed them, but realized how ridiculous they might be, or that however genuine they are, it's in God's hands.

The power of thoughts however is pretty strong. Everybody can benefit from this knowledge: 

So what are your fears? How do you conquer your fears?