Friday, January 15, 2016

12 Ways to Raise Your Self-Awareness in 2016

Hello 2016! I know, I know we're 15 days in already, but it's my first post of the year! I've been missing from the writing scene for a while. I'm so excited for the present moment and for the future. The future seems boundless and infinite right now as I am and for a while it was a scary thing for me as my big 30th birthday was approaching last month. It's as though something awful and noticeable was about to take place but in actuality I woke up the next day after being dreadfully miserable, with a lighter feeling. It's like I expected to suddenly look different. I'm still a baby lol, I can just feel it. So for the last 2 months I've been in this "YOLO" mentality. I enjoyed this past December soooo much. I said fuck it and got my first tattoo after a night out with my husband at a hookah lounge. I went out to dinner and clubbing with one of my best friends, Christmas wasn't as I planned but having a New Year's Eve party made up for it. I've been struggling with a wide variety of emotions, but as they come up I deal with them. That's a critical part of self-care. To know what's wrong and try to fix it. A lot of what's wrong with most of us is inside. It's the stuff people can't see, the damaged pieces of us that are being held together by strings of hope, joy, relationships, happiness, love, excitement, basically the anticipation of good things and positive vibes, coming to fruition.

For 2016 I have a lot going on with my brother getting married in April, and then my best friend in Sept. In between that I would like to enjoy my family and friends. This year's bucket-list isn't as big as previous years but it's a progressive type of list. I'd definitely like to do all the things I didn't finish in my other goals list, but this time I'd like to focus more solely on quality over quantity. Last year I felt more strained trying to do so much that I stretched myself out too thin. Aside from losing 10-15 lbs. I want to be in control of how I feel. I want to constantly be in tuned to what's good and what isn't. I just wanna become so much stronger than the power of my flaws.  As my favorite psychologist Dr. Phil says: "You can't change what you don't acknowledge!" We acknowledge by raising our self-awareness.

I love Gary Vaynerchuk! He keeps it real.
So what's the point of all this self-awareness? Well I read a bunch of articles this past week and in the middle of a conversation with someone my brain started connecting the dots. Like it was crazy how I linked up all this information all to ONE video on long- term health and happiness. Isn't that the point in life? Happiness? What makes us happy? Part of me felt conflicted because while relationships make me happy, to a degree they causes a lot of my anguish, and that's life. Life is a series of conflicts that we either decide ignore or we resolve. Those are the experiences that will shape who we are and who we become. Everyone will disappoint you at some point in life, because it's human nature to tie our expectations to others and hold people higher than ourselves. We do this when we prioritize others over ourselves, when we compare our self to others, when people try to compete or keep up with the Jones, when we don't confront situations that are bad for us. When we ignore our intuition, when we try to make everyone else happy, and when we forget what really matters during the pursuit of wealth, power, fame, success, even beauty; when we are too attached*.

Personally, I'd like to have a balance, I like to be alone and I give up easily when I get tired of people and their bullshit. At the same time I have very strong attachments to my husband, my brother, and a few friends. Last year I had a very hard time with change, but during those changes I learned a lot about myself and the direction I'm headed. I'm certain that I will continue to have trouble with change, but again, I need to acknowledge, stay self-aware and keep growing. Self awareness is the key to becoming your best self, and the lack of it spills over into your spirit, the relationships we have with our loved ones, into our success, into our children as resilient as they are said to be, our parenting, their future, and the future of the world.  To become self-aware you must:
  1. Address what you're feeling and ask yourself why. 
  2. Come up with a solution, don't leave yourself hanging. Monitor if the solution works. Do you feel better now?  
  3. Treat yourself but don't do so excessively. 
  4. Live. Like literally go out and do whatever you want to do. (Stay within the laws though, lol) 
  5. Take a day for yourself. Time alone is invaluable. People don't have enough time to themselves because they're always on the go and there's too many distractions to be alone with their thoughts.
  6. Monitor how you feel around certain people. "Not every person in your garden is a flower." 
  7. Assert yourself. Stand up for yourself. 
  8. Monitor your own behavior. Be kind, I can't stress this enough. A lot of the damaged parts of us came from people not being kind. What you don't like for yourself don't do to someone else.
  9. Keep a journal. Talk to others, express yourself. 
  10. Don't get caught up in people pleasing. 
  11. Expect nothing. Learn about non-attachment. 
  12. Know that some disappointments are half your fault, because you had a poor expectations and make adjustments in your priorities. 
Save this Photo! Put it on Your Fridge! 
What Makes A Good Life from the Longest Study on Happiness:

Awesome Reads: 

*Why Non-attachment is one of the Keys to a Happy Life & Relationship.

A Poem that removes all Uncertainty & Anxiety from my Life.

Science Has Figured Out The Best Age To Start Giving Your Kids Chores

7 Signs You Grew Up With A Toxic Parent & Didn't Know It

18 Reasons Your 30s Will Actually Be A Lot More Awesome Than Your 20s

Leaving the Martyr Mommy Behind